I'm probably going to catch a lot of flack for this post. I'm thinking I might hit a nerve with some of the moms that just, "luuuuuurve being a mom alllllll the time".
To them I say, "Bullshit".
This gig ain't always sunshine and smiles. Actually, a lot of the time, it can be quite the opposite. It's a fucking, hard-ass job; the hardest job I've ever had, that's for sure. And this job never even came with any instruction manuals. The "What To Expect..." series, my ever-loving ass. Write a book and title it, "You Have No Idea What The Hell You Are In For". For God's Sake, even when I was a lowly bank teller I got two weeks training. And the pay? Well, that sucks too.
I love my children with all of my being. I'd die for them, without hesitation. But sometimes? I do not like them, Sam I am.
Sometimes, when I've had a truly horrible day, much like today, I think, "How would life be right now for Mr. Schmitty and I if we hadn't been able to have children?"
Hey YOU over there, I heard you gasp. Knock it off, you aren't going to tell me that the thought hasn't crossed your mind a time or two dozen.
I imagine that I would probably still have that great, toned body. I wouldn't be so stressed and tired all of the time. I'd have a whole lot more money. I could travel with my husband. I'd be driving a sports car.
I.WOULDN'T.BE.DRIVING.A.MINIVAN!!
I wouldn't be putting up with demands, whining, or tantrums. I wouldn't be wiping butts, cleaning up boogers on the walls, or washing loads of vomited on sheets at 2 am. I wouldn't be baking cupcakes, buying poster board, or helping to cram for a test, late into the night, because I was just told it was due tomorrow.
Yes, these are all things I've thought about. And for a brief moment, it does sound like paradise. It also sounds like a lonely existence because I'd be missing out on cuddles, smooches, and "Mommy, I Love Yous". I wouldn't hear belly laughs or squeals of delight. I wouldn't see looks of wonderment, awe, and curiosity.
I wouldn't have my babies.
So, yeah, I do take my mental vacations on occasion. And if they don't work...well, there's always wine.
14 comments:
Amen!
sometimes it takes A LOT of wine!
Yes, yes , yes!! I hate it when people look at me crazy because I occasionally "lose my shit" because my kids are driving me crazy!
I love your book title! lol! I completely agree! Hardest job I've ever had!
Right on Sista!!!!!!!!!!
Yep! You said it!
I'm with you 100%, I do think of the same thing from time to time. Then I see my sleeping child all angel like and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
This is a great post! I think every mom feels this way, and I'm with you about the people who claim they don't. B-S! Thanks for writing this!!
Mental note...pick up wine on the way home.....
:)
I just thought I loved you, but now I'm convinced! Preach on, my sistah in parenthood!!
I took a mental vacation the other day. It was great. We all need them from time to time.
BTW where did you get that picture? That is just perfect for my template.
I know your pain. We always had a rule: You are upstairs at 7pm. Lights out at 8pm. I have "clocked out." You're on your own from here.
Just had nothing left in me when the kids were younger. Now, they stay up later than we do, but I still have a rule; You are upstairs at 10pm; I don't care what day of the week it is. (Surprisingly, it works.)
Rock on! Perfectly said!
Would you like some of my Long Island Ice Tea? I think it will make you feel better. Maybe three would be a good start. :) I'm just sayin'.
I do believe you covered all the thoughts racing through my head. And if you need help writing that book, I will co-author it with you. Oh, and the follow-up title should be How to rescue the one, lone braincell and make it viable again. Yeah. Go on sista, tell it like it really is!
ABSOLUTELY!
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