Mummy Won't Play That, Though It's Tempting

Mr. Schmitty and I are very strict on what the kids are allowed to watch on television, especially at night. No gore or horror for them. It's all rainbows and bunnies, and unicorns.

You see, all three Schmitty kids are chicken shits scaredy cats, though obviously, R. isn't as much. She's the badass, compared to my boys, but she feeds off of their fears.

As much as I screen their viewing habits, even though I've set the parental controls on their tvs, W. still has friends. And 10 year old friends can be evil. They show you videos on YouTube of Sasquatch, they talk of Vampires, and their older brothers introduce you to Freddie Kruger.

Of course, poop flows downstream, and that means W. fills in T. and R. when he returns home. He whispers to them in his room, telling them of all the monsters under the bed and in the closet. He's such a good boy, sharing with his siblings. His mama sure did teach him right.

We live in a split-level home. When the sun starts to set, the boys will not venture alone, to any level of the house. They must be accompanied at all times. If I ask T. to get something from the pantry, he'll say, "C'mon R." And she'll go, no questions asked.

That's right, your little sister will protect you.

Now, I was afraid of the dark as a child, a direct result of watching Linda Blair spew green, pea soup. I feel my kid's pain, I really do. The problem I have? They try to use it to their advantage.

W. will be playing his Nintendo DS and I will ask him to run to get me some milk. The extra refrigerator is located downstairs in the laundry room. He's too busy trying to beat the gym leader on his Pokemon game, so he'll start whining that he's scared. It's broad daylight. However, if I said, "W., there is a ten dollar bill on the washing machine, you can......" he'd be gone before I finished the sentence.

The boys will be playing in their rooms for hours before bedtime. The second I say, okay, in bed, time for sleep, they start their shenanigans. "I'm scared, I can't sleep....blah, blah, blah!"

Now, I know I sound like a mean, terrible mommy with no compassion. I try, I really do, but when they try to manipulate the situation because they are being lazy or are trying to stall their bedtime, well, it's kind of annoying.

But, I guess I have to just deal until they outgrow it.

Or I could do something like this:



Even I admit, that is just SO wrong in SO many ways!