Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Oh I Forgive, I Just Never Forget

Remember last summer when Mr. Schmitty and I had a sort of tit-for-tat war going on? It all started with this post.

My throat still hasn't quite recovered from the Janet Leigh Psychoish scream I let out when Mr. Schmitty tried to liposuction my butt with the vacuum. That's when things got ugly. It was on!

Since then I periodically lay little traps for him, just to remind him that I am a vengeful, vindictive woman who will not rest until I bring him to his knees.

One of my evil plans is to have the guys he works with brought in to help me. Unbeknown to them, they will simply be my pawns in this ongoing game of ours.

Every so often when Mr. Schmitty leaves his cell phone lying around, completely unguarded, I change his ringtone. Big deal, you say? My dear hubby works in a field that has some pretty masculine, man's man type of guys employed. Well, imagine his displeasure to have his cell phone ring, just as a meeting is starting, and all you hear in the room is, "If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain....!" or maybe, "I'm lookin' for some Hot Stuff baby this evenin', I need Hot Stuff baby tonight!"


I can just imagine the heads spinning around, the eyes glaring at him, eye brows arched. I feel his blood pressure rising, his heart pounding, and the sweat dripping down his face. The comments and jokes begin to fly. He knows it's me immediately and he's plotting his revenge.

It just hasn't happened yet. He has been so lucky and has caught it every single time when he has been alone. I'll just keep trying....I won't rest until my mission is complete.

The other day, much to my amusement, I overheard this conversation:

T.: "R., do you like peanuts or coladas?"

R.: "Peanuts, 'cause I don't know what a colada is."

T.: "Do you like the rain or the sun?"

R.: "Sun."

T.: "What's yoga?"

R.: "I don't know."

T.: "Do you have half a brain or a whole brain?"

R.: "Half."

The laughter from that answer was priceless. Thank goodness they didn't know the next line (Do you like making love at midnight?).

This just goes to show you, they know everything that goes on, even if you think they aren't listening!


Laura said...

Oh my...too funny!!! LOVE IT!!!!

Thanks for sharing!

The Fritz Facts said...

That is hilarious! Hubby and I always have a little war going on. It is fun. Keep the good times coming!

David Williams said...

This is obvious that we have tit-for-tat war with our hubbies. This also increases the love between us. Sometimes it becomes funny and sometime it becomes a timepass.

Justice Fergie said...

too funny. that's a BRILLIANT plan, by the way. my hubby better watch out.

Valerie said...

LMAO you guys are too funny!

Maria said...

Oh, GOD...this is fantastic. I am SO gonna change Bing's ringtone. She has Pachelbel's Canon in D on it right now. I am going to change it to "Do You Think I'm Sexy..."

Thank you..that is me bowing deeply.

Bananas said...

I love this. And I totally want to steal your idea and change Jay's ringtone... although i'm not sure if the iphone offers "do you like peanut coladas" as one of the default rings??! :)

Zephra said...

Ain't that the truth.

Jennifer said...

Bwaa ha ha! The ring tone change is sooo funny. Maybe a little Britney Spears is in order, next? Hee.

Christine said...


That scares me.

They hear so much!

EE said...

Changing hubby's ringtone to "hotstuff"...brilliant!!
You are my idol!!!

Jen said...

Hey thats true that we should now and then have war with our hubby's. Its sometimes funny and even love increases.

Leigh said...

That is awesome and devious kinda lady. I am doing that tonight. WHat about Celine Dion? LOL!