Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The "Talk" Is Inevitable!

Okay all, when is the proper age for the "talk"? When they begin asking questions? Or if they are pretty innocent and really don't ask anything, is there an age that a parent should ease into it?

W. is my first child, so I'm new to this area of parenting. I know it's only a matter of time before he catches on to something a classmate or friend says at school. He'll come home wondering what it all means. We've already had some close calls with this, this, and this.

Over the weekend Mr. Schmitty was watching Animal Planet. The kids really love animals and were watching along with him. He and I started talking, uninterrupted for once, as the kids were glued to the tv. We weren't paying attention to the program because, well, we were TALKING! A rarity in a house of three children.

Anyway, W. asks, "What's that?"

"Those are dolphins," Mr. Schmitty says as he continues our conversation.

Mr. Schmitty is really great at blurting out an answer to a question without really paying attention to what's actually going on. He'll just say something. It drives me crazy. He's not very observant, for example, a pink polka-doted elephant could be sitting in the living room and as long as it is out of Mr. Schmitty's direct line of sight to the tv screen, well, he'll never see it. It could even fart and he'd think it was the puppy.

Now, of course, moms are multi-taskers, I can continue the conversation, look at the tv, answer W., AND mop the floor, change a diaper, and chew gum, all at the same time. Mr. Schmitty trips when chewing gum.

SO, I blow a bubble, nod to Mr. Schmitty, look at the tv, and say, "This is yours sweetie."

"What do you want to know, buddy," Mr. Schmitty says as he turns his head from my direction.

"What's that dad?"

My husband's head stops and he glances up at me. The look in his eyes lets me know he is spewing curse words at me in his mind.

"Hey pal, you were watching the show, not me," I say with a grin.

He turns back to W., "That's an egg."

"I know what that is, but what are those other things swimming around that look like tadpoles?"

I cross my arms and grin wider, "Yea dad, what are they?"

"Just what you said, good thinking, they are tadpoles!"

What a wuss.


Zephra said...

Different kids, different time to have the "talk". It really depends on the kid but it sounds like your boy is ready for part of it at least. I got a book from the store and we read through as far as we felt we needed to. That was a hard read though.

I have yet to have the talk with Sara but I know it should be soon but I had it with my 13 year old niece. I think I freaked her out because her Mom flat out lied to her and gave her REALLY inaccurate information. I think when they want to know, you should tell them the truth and that is what I did with her.

Shelli said...


I am wondering this too, so will be looking forward to the parents that have been there :)

Justice Fergie said...


you've been having quite the week in the "parenting issues" category!

oh and my hubby? he doesn't chew gum for exactly that reason. overstimulation.

Paulette Foley said...

I have a 13 year old son and have worked with kids most of my adult life. My philosophy is to answer questions as they ask. Zack started asking questions at a very early age...I really don't know why he was so curious, but all kids are different. I answered honestly and openly. I didn't use "funny" names...used the actual anatomical terms. So, we were having pretty open dialogue for a while. Now, though, he is feeling his independence more and it's not cool to talk to his Mom about sex. But, I know he still listens...had a great talk the other day about why it's NOT ok to kiss a girl just because she offers and had this discussion with him and 4 of his friends. One of them actually said thanks and wished that he could talk to his mom like that.

Paulette Foley said...

Another thought: When you do have the talk, a great movie to show is "Look Who's Talking"...the sequence that basically shows 'Mikeys' inception...it's not too graphic, but very understandable. (Watch it first to make sure you're comfortable with it.)

Mrs. Fierce Shoes said...

My mom was so peeved with the school because they showed "the film" and gave out "the pamphlets" without her knowing and before she got to have the talk with me. I was ten. Of course, things are SO different now with kids. They know a lot more and are exposed to a lot more (no pun intended).

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I think it's so smart of the schools to educate. In this day and age they need to be informed. As the kid's learn about sex in the higher grades, I've been told in our system they will learn to put a condom on a banana. We know people that will be pulling their son out of the school system this year to send him to a private school because of this.

meleah rebeccah said...

I always answer every single question 100% honestly. Even when my then 10year old asked me , "what is a blowjob"... I just stared straight at the road, gripped the wheel, and told him.

I would RATHER my son know the truth, than hear all sorts of crazy stories in school, (from classmates)

However, I never really brought the subject up. My son did it on his own.

For some reason, he ALWAYS asks those questions, while I am DRIVING.

Random Magus said...

My best friends little son just asked her what 'they' were pointing to her boobs>>>>>

For the Love... said...

We went to reptile day at the library yesterday. Reptile Guy whips out this chart to show the evolution of frogs. On the far left is the egg, to the right of the egg is what appears, TO EVERY RATIONAL PERSON IN THE ROOM, to be sperm. I was holding my breath when he asked a room full of 5-11yo kids what it was....It was a tadpole...

I am totally out of my mind.

Misslionheart said...

I have to give the 'Talk' four times. I just hope they believe me!

Mommy the Maid said...

This entry cracks me up. I am not sure when is the best time for "The talk". Miss Turtle was only about 5 or 6 when she got the talk from her step mom because Miss Turtle was about to get a baby brother.

Oh, The Joys said...

Bow chicka TADPOLE!

Jenny said...

I plan on giving my daughter the talk at least by the time she's 40.

Maybe 45.

Lene said...

Oh I don't look forward to having the talk. It is a while away, but I still dread it.

Last week, during snack time at VBS, all of the kids witnessed 2 iguanas mating. Ahhh I wonder how many parents had to give that talk that night. haha

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I'm still laughing at Oh, The Joys' comment! ;)

Uh yeah the talk hasn't happened here yet since we're still in Dora land and so far there hasn't been a "Boots Gets a Boner" episode. Yikes.