Yesterday W. had baseball practice about 30 minutes after he got home from school. That always makes for chaos. Especially because W. usually needs a fire lit under his butt to get anywhere on time. Well, unless it's a party or a toy store or the like. Anyway, everyone is under my feet. I'm spewing out orders to W., of course each order is repeated at least 3 times, because, "I didn't hear you mom." Though I believe the whole neighborhood heard me, but he, only 2 feet away, didn't. "Get a snack W., hurry up, stop goofing around you only have 15 minutes, put the toy down, eat, get your cleats, c'mon, C'MON!" He's just about to run out the door with Mr. Schmitty and I say, "Are you wearing your cup?" From the look on his face, I knew he wasn't.
"Upstairs mister, you need that!"
"I hate wearing it."
"Well, it's important."
"Why?"
"You definitely don't want to be hit there with a baseball!"
"Why? I won't be able to pee anymore?"
Now, because he is not getting in his room to do what I asked and he is going to be late for practice I'm starting to get REALLY annoyed. I'm not thinking very clearly.
I respond, "Oh W. I don't know....you don't want to get hit there because don't you want to have ki....oh crap...just get READY!"
Was I really going to go there? Was I really going to begin THE TALK with my 8 year old as he is on his way to his little league practice. Wash my mouth out with soap!
5 comments:
You could tell him he'd swell up the size of a cucumber and have trouble zipping his pants. At 8 this would cause him more worry than curiosity.
Another note- my husband had the talk with #1 when he (#1, not husband) was 9. #1's response, when being told the mechanics of sex, was "Oh RIGHT! Like some girl's just gonna let me do that to her!"
Not looking forward to that talk. I think I'm just not ready! I have a few years.
I can certainly relate to lighting fires under the kids' asses to get them MOVING, though!
I feel like I constantly say the phrase, "will you stop goofing off and just..."
But, at least I don't have to warn my little girl about remembering her cup....
Yikes! Why is it that Dad is never around when these little teachable moments occur? Eight seems so young, and not all that far away!
I have refrained from having that talk with my son, he is 15. I asked him if he knew where babies came from.....he said, "Yeah...you have had enough of them"......I figure he knows. I guess I will have another little talk with him this afternoon
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