Sunday, June 24, 2007

Girl Talk

Someone sent me one of those survey emails the other day. One of the questions was, "Name one thing you would change about your body." I wondered if I could answer, "Everything!" But I followed the rules and picked my biggest, no pun intended, problem. My boobs. I.HATE.THEM!

I was a late bloomer as a teen. I was flat as a board until the summer before my senior year. There must have been something in the water that August because when I returned to school BAM! there they were. Guy friends of mine wondered if I had gotten implants for my birthday. I was basically shy, so I began to hide them. I think back now and wished I had flaunted them a little more.

From that point on I always wore loose shirts, so I don't think many realized that I had blossomed so well. I was a C cup and though that isn't huge, for a thin girl they were quite large. When I got married at 25, my boobs were the subject during the reception. My dress, of course, was fitted to me and people finally got a look-see at the girls. After a few rounds of drinks, friends were asking me to jump up and down for them.

Anyway, jump to present day, I'm not that skinny chick anymore. I've also given birth to three babies, so that and gravity have now expanded my once size C to a DD. They are no longer perky, but rather "hang low, swing from side to side, and I could probably tie them in a bow". I have neck and upper back aches and indentations from my bra straps. In a nut shell, I'd like to just hack them off. And hopefully within the next few years I will be able to get that reduction.

I would love to wear a tank top and not worry that everyone is staring at my chest. But even more so, I would like to stop slouching because of the weight of them. I would like to stop taking rounds of Motrin all of the time to help ease the pain in my neck and back. It's a constant strain on my muscles.

My kids are even obsessed with them. And how couldn't they be? They are pretty much at their eye level and well, are very much "In your face!" Yesterday during a kick ball game in the yard, T. got an out and walked past me, at which point he tweaked my left one in protest.

And forget about it with R. I hope she follows in the footsteps of my mother and sister who could go bra less and nobody would be the wiser. R. is only 3 and this is the conversation we had a while back:

"Mommy I want my boobies to grow."

"R., they will as you get older."

"NOOOOO, I want them like yours, NOW!"

"Honey, you would have a hard time walking and would probably fall on your face. Why do you want them bigger?"

"I want to wear a bra."

"R. you are only 3, you won't need a bra for a long time."

"But why are mine little?" She's whining at this point like she does when she wants a toy at the store.

"God made you that way, they will grow when you are older."

"But God made me little, see?!" She lifts up her shirt.

I think to myself, "Oh Lord I really need to stop leaving my Victoria's Secret Catalog lying around. First T. and now R.!"


EE said...

Could I talk you into sending some of yours my way??????

Anonymous said...

LOL I am exactly like you, DD and all. I, too, will get a reduction once I get my weight down. We are boob sistas, you and I...

And I, too, wonder about my girls and if they'll be "blessed" with my moraccas, too. Poor girls. At least they'll be tall like their FATHER to offset them! Well, I can PRAY!

Maria said...

I don't know too many women who actually like their breasts. I hate mine because they are not the same size! My left one is slightly larger than the right. I didn't even realize this until I was 19 and my MOTHER pointed it out to me as maybe the reason why I didn't seem to have any dates. (She was WAY off on the reason..and I was having dates, just not the kind she approved of.)

My bf, Harriet, says that if she keeps her hair short and wears a halter top, people think she is an adolescent boy because she is so flat.

My mother actually made an appt for me to see a plastic surgeon to get them "evened out" when I was 19! I still remember how humiliated I felt as this md stood there cupping both of my tits in his hands...ugh.

Mommy the Maid said...

I used to hate my breasts. Back when they so perky and cute and just the right size for small frame. Now they are larger (not like yours though) but so is my belly.

I hope you get that reduction. I know about back pain and I really feel for you.

Zephra said...

I swear I could have been writing this post. I hate my boobs too. I call them hanging bananas. When I lay down, they lay down...under my arms. I was a C cup until I had 4 kids. I am now a DD just like you. My back hurts all the time and I can't wear a shirt that buttons. I have to go to specialty stores for my bras and they have to have an underwire if I want the "girls" to stay up where they should be. Life on the other side of the bra is not better girls. What I wouldn't give for a C cup again.

Kristi said...

We are sooooo not-body-conscious that our kids don't even have a word for 'boobies.' My five year old sucks in her gut and sticks out her ribs and says 'See! I'm a LADY!' Her ribs represent boobs.

I actually like my boobs. I was pretty flat chested until I had my kids. Now I'm a happy C. Let's hope I stop getting fat so they don't get any bigger.

meleah rebeccah said...

Its amazing how much BOOBS can affect our lives.

I know how you feel (sort of) I was FLAT CHESTED my whole life, until I became pregnant, it was like a titty fairy came and brought me a present. But after my son was born, they shriveled right back to nothing and a very SAGGY nothings.

I never let people see them, and I wore two bras (yes TWO BRAS) with victoria secret chicken cutlet inserts. I never had sex with the lights on, and I never ever ever took off my shirt. ever.

From age 21-30 (for NINE years I was miserable, self conscious)

I had the golf balls at the bottom of a sock look to my breasts, and I HATED them, and HATED certain clothes on me, because of them.

But then, when I turned 30,I went ahead and bought myself a present. BOOBS.

It was the best decision I ever made.

I know what it feels like to have breasts you dont like, and how self conscious that can make you feel, but I also know that plastic surgery really HELPS.

Mrs. Fierce Shoes said...

Getting new boobs is one of the best things I ever did for myself. I'm only 35 and never had kids but DROOPAGE happened! I told the doctor I was tired of rolling them up and licking them like a cigarette to get them to stay in my bra.

Random Magus said...

Plastic surgery rocks... I firmly believe if it makes you feel better do it.. why not???
Why feel miserable when you can be happy and self image does make a difference on how we feel about everything...
I know I'm going to go for botox when the time comes...

Mrs. Chicky said...

Gah! She wants a bra at three years old?? Do they all act like that?? Sh*t.

Oh, and I'll take any of that boobage you don't want, 'kay?

Overwhelmed! said...

I'm one of those woman who could go bra less and nobody would be the wiser. And truthfully, I like it that way!

My older and younger sister are much more well endowed and they complain about the same things you do.

I had to laugh at your 3 year old wanting to wear a bra! My 2 year old (son) likes wearing my bra around the house and I managed to snap a picture of him in it. He'll hate me later for that, I'm sure.

Love your blog design, by the way!

Justice Fergie said...

get that breast reduction girl. you'll thank yourself everyday.