Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Shower Scene

I'm sure I'll be getting a lot of hits on that title, though the Google searchers may be a tad disappointed.

Last night W.was in the shower. I was in the next room doing laundry, because as you know, when W. is in the shower you have to be within ear shot. He, as usual, was running up my water bill. For a child that is so damn skinny, he takes an awfully long time washing himself. I mean, c'mon, I've got enough meat on my bones to feed a small village, him, they'd throw to the dogs to chew on, and I'm out of the shower long before he's even washed his feet.

So, I leave the laundry room to yell at him to get a move on, probably for the 10th time. I hear him make an "UGH!" sound.

"What's the matter?"

"Mom? Can I say a curse word?"

"No, why do you want to say a curse word? What's the matter?" I'm rolling my eyes because he can be especially dramatic at times.

"Look!" He can never JUST tell me what's wrong, I have to come to him and LOOK.

"Oh.For.God's.Sake! You are getting too old for mom to be peeking in the shower!"

I pull back the curtain a bit and look in, "Now, whaaaa.....HOLY CRAP!"

"That's what I wanted to say!"

The shower looked like a scene out of Psycho. It was horrific. There was blood splattered everywhere. On the walls, the shower curtain, the shampoo bottles, the dollies R. left in the tub, and mostly all over him. WTF?!

He was bending slightly forward, the blood was just dripping from his nose. W. has always been prone to bloody noses. He's had his nose cauterized a few times. Now, with allergy season upon us it was only inevitable. I look at it this way, at least it was in the shower and he wasn't ruining his quilt. Nor was he leaving a trail on the rug in his room as he ran to the bathroom. Because you know he can never grab a tissue first because they are only right next to his bed.

Once we got it under control, I told him to re-shower and hurry it up. I think he is going to be the official reason why New Jersey will have a drought this summer. We'll all be under water restrictions because my son can't take a shower within a normal time frame.

When he got out I asked him why he takes so long.

"I was really dirty. I think I found spots that I've had since, like, when I was 5. I scrubbed really hard."

"Good because next time I'm setting the egg timer!"


The Greens said...

Oh the woes of nosebleeds!

I've had one just about every day of my life.

My sisters kids.

Had the nose packed, cauterizations, eer-thing.

We have ruined more quilts, shirts and pillowcases than you would believe.

Cece said...

Oh the poor kid! Allergy season is awful!

I've got an 8 year old daughter and shes the EXACT same way. I'm in & out in like 8 minutes, 15 if I have to shave. Her? Once I timmed her & she took a 26 minute shower! Good thing we rent & the owner pays the water bill! lol But in the morning I do have set the timer & put it in the bathroom.

Babybull40 said...

Cleanliness is next to godliness right?.. I have a hard time getting my two older kids to shower or bath while visiting their Dad.. they are lazy..yet I still manage to have to smell their

Misslionheart said...

This is sooo strange. I woke two of my girls this morning, to find the youngest had had one hell of a nosebleed and the other had lost a tooth and her mouth was covered in blood! It looked as though they'd been attacked!

They're fine!.......

Maria said...

Well, the good news is that you have a very clean child. Much better than having a very stinky one.

And, how lucky for him to have the nosebleed IN the shower. I wish they could just learn to vomit in there too....

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, my youngest is prone to nosebleeds as well. I still remember the very first time he had a bad one. I walked in his room to wake him up one morning and it looked like an axe murderer had gotten to him. Seriously...blood all over his little toddler bed and little toddler sheets and blankets. Thankfully, he seems to be outgrowing the nosebleeds as he get older.