Noah, Could You Build Me An Ark?

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was WIDE awake. Mr. Schmitty, as usual, fell asleep in nanoseconds. He was snoring peacefully next to me. I wanted to suffocate him with the pillow because I was just staring at the ceiling while my mind raced.

"Are you asleep?" I whispered.

"Huh? What? Who?" he muttered.

"Oh never mind!" I said.

He was snoring again before I even finished my sentence. Darn! I didn't want to get out of bed. I was tired but just couldn't nod off.

Okay, I guess I'll have to take action. I needed something to make me relax. I snuggled up close to Mr. Schmitty.

"Are you awake, NOW?" I purred. Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

So now that I was relaxed, Mr. Schmitty and I hunkered down for the night. He was still trying to figure out where that all came from when I last saw the clock at 12:30 am.

As it usually goes in my house, if you go to sleep later than 10:00 pm, expect something to happen during the night. Your sleep will be interrupted.

I was dreaming about a gorgeous house we were touring. It had all of the amenities and then some. Then I heard it, coming from the next room. I went to investigate. Wait, Huh? I jerk my head up and off of my pillow. That loud, weird sound wasn't my dream, "That's coming from my house!" I soon realized.

I jump out of bed and run down the stairs into the kitchen. What the hell? I run down another flight of stairs. No. Where is it coming from? I run down the hall, past the bathroom and into the laundry room. The noise was getting louder as I went. I flip the lights on.

OH.MY.LORD! There is water gushing from behind the washing machine. GUSHING!

"MR SCHMITTY!" I yell up the stairs.

I'm turning the knob for the water shut-off behind the washer. It's not stopping! He ran in and tried. Water is still shooting out everywhere. He runs into the playroom and yanks all of the buckets of toys away from the crawlspace door. He goes in. Where is the water shut-off?

He can't find the shut-off valve? HE.CAN'T.FIND.THE.EFFING.SHUT-OFF! We've only lived here 11 years!! He's the man, he's suppose to know where it is!!

I scream, "Hurry up, it's spewing gallons! GALLONS!!!"

The two of us are running around like chickens with no heads. It's 5 am, see what happens when you get no sleep? That's the last time that man will ever get sex! I swear, next time, I'm getting out of bed and blogging instead!

Finally he tries the knob behind the washer again. It shuts off.







Now, had I gone to sleep at a reasonable hour and hadn't panicked, I would have realized that I was turning off the WRONG knob. It was the cold water hose that broke. I should have remembered that from the time the hot water hose broke and I scalded myself. Red knob, hot water; black knob, cold water.

Okay, give me my hat, put me in the corner, laugh and throw rocks, I deserve it. Now let me go wash all of my towels and drain the foot of water out of my pantry.

Looks Like We're Staying Put

Well I've officially called off the house hunting. I've spent the last two weeks frantically searching my town for a house that will accomodate eight people comfortably. The market right now is horrible. Every single house, in our price range, was awful. The house either needed tons of work or was in a bad location. And let me tell you, we weren't looking to be cheap either.

That however, is not the reason for stopping. I was all willing to relocate to another town. I even had started looking in nearby communities. The problem, surprise, surprise, is the in-laws. I understand that they have very big decisions to make. I get that. It's just that my MIL and SIL don't seem to want to actually COME to any decisions.

They don't have much time, I've told you all of the condition of the house. Winter is approaching, they need to move. We've given them a few options, they need to pick one. They can't seem to and forget trying to help them. They seem to think we all are against them in everything we suggest. It's frustrating.

I know that their lives are chaotic right now. But they also don't understand that we were willing to turn our lives upside down too to help them out. My kids were even willing to move away from their friends. Nobody seemed to understand that by at least giving us an answer on whether or not we were going to move in together.

So, I decided to stop driving myself and my kids batty and let them do what they have to. I just hope they can come to some sort of a decision before it gets cold.

Get Your Own Drink!

Last night I was watering my flowers. I finally planted some this year. I haven't done any gardening in a few years because, frankly, I just couldn't find the time with the kids. I was very excited to do my planters this year and the kids loved helping me.

I love flowers, but I really don't have much of a green thumb. Actually, I completely suck at gardening. I start off very enthusiastic and imagine that by mid-summer I will have these beautiful, hearty flowers all around me. I've learned that I need to plant my annuals in pots and planters. It's a lot easier to dump them out than it is to rip them out of the ground when they die. Thankfully, I seem to be better with kids than plants.

Anyway, I had purchased this really fragrant, gorgeous, hanging planter. The flowers are pink and white. That's all I know. I threw away the stick stating what they were. See, I just don't know what I'm doing here. I hung the planter outside of my front door under the eave. I love to smell them every time I step outside.

We started to notice these little birds loved them too. The kids and I would watch birds flying around the planter all day from the window. It never occurred to me that it was the same 2 birds and that they were a couple, eh-hem. Until last night that is. I went to water my planter, the flowers were somewhat wilty. And yes, I know that's not an actual word. I think I cursed the birds some and just as I went to pour some water in the planter, out one flew and almost took my head off. I ducked and almost fell on my rump. "I bet there's a nest in there!" I say. Hooray, Einstein.

I take the planter down, keeping a watchful eye on mama bird, who is eyeing me from a nearby wire. I'm not looking away, totally fearful she may attack. I look in and sure enough this is what I find:

The picture is dark, but there are 6 little speckled eggs in there. I called the kids to come see, still making sure mama bird is not preparing to peck me in my head. After they oohed and aahhed and I snapped this picture, I carefully placed the planter back up on its hook.

So, what do I do now? Do I keep watering the flowers, making sure to be careful of the nest? Do I just let the flowers die? I would hate to disturb a mother and her babies but shouldn't the flowers be kept alive to help hide her? And those things weren't cheap, neither!

The kids were very excited about the discovery. The boys pulled their arms in their shirts and stuck their elbows back out. They looked like they had wings and were flapping them all around the front of the house as they squawked very loudly. R. who was eating Kix from a paper cup, of course needed to get into the act. She placed her cup on the sidewalk and pulled her arms in her shirt. She couldn't quite grasp the concept of sticking her elbows out so the arms stayed in the shirt. All of a sudden she bends down and sticks her nose in her paper cup. She lifts the cup up with her mouth and walks away.

Mr. Schmitty and I were hysterical, though I can imagine what the people in the car that drove by were thinking. "Look at those cruel adults, they are laughing at the poor child with no arms trying to get a drink."

One Of Those Weeks

Have you ever had one of those days that you basically want to put a f'ing gun to your head by 8 am? Well, I've had two of those in a row. The kids are driving me N.U.T.S.!

I've been feeling really good for the past week and a half and the weather has been gorgeous so I've been spending a lot of time outside. I've been planting flowers galore, cleaning up the yard a bit, and playing with the kids in the yard. Mama is happy so everyone is happy.

Problem is, the more time you GIVE to my little ones, the more they seem to demand. Which brings us to Monday, weekend's over, mommy needs to stop putting off doing her chores, and must get down to some serious catching up. Tell that to them. I swear if I stop short, one of them is going to lose their head up my butt. I can't turn around without tripping over somebody. I'm not getting anything accomplished because they want this, and that, and this, and that, every two seconds it's, "Mommy I'm thirsty, mommy I'm hungry, mommy wipe my hiney, mommy come play with me." And though I KNOW I've given them more than enough attention lately, I still get the guilts when I tell them they need to go play and let me get my jobs done.

Yesterday afternoon I had about all I could stand. I hated to do it, but I told Mr. Schmitty he was going to have to take T. and R. with him to W.'s baseball game. I needed to get a hundred things done and there was no way it was getting done at the rate I had been going. Plus, truly, if he didn't get everyone out of here, I really was considering shoving my head in the oven.

They all packed up and that's when I heard it. Quiet. Sheer silence. It was wonderful. I got the bills caught up, school paperwork done, my business bookkeeping is up to date, I even drove to the bank and then the post office to mail the bills and an order to a customer.

I did this all in about 90 minutes, see what you can get done by yourself?

The crew wasn't due back for another 90 minutes, give or take, so I thought, is it possible? Do I get some me time too? Just as I was about to jump for joy, I see the minivan pull in the driveway.

"T. has to poop."

Of course he does. And out piles T. and R. whining, "Mommy we're tired. Mommy we're cold. Mommy we miss you."

Calgon......take me away!!

Lock Bumping

Has anyone seen this video? It's pretty scary how easy it seems for a criminal to get into your home. A friend emailed the link to this YouTube video today and I thought I would share it. I'm so glad I have an alarm system!

My intention wasn't to scare anyone, it was only to make you aware so you may protect your own. I also am not posting this to help would-be criminals learn a new trick. If you watched the entire video you would see that it didn't describe how to cut the bump keys correctly. I just wanted to clarify that before I get screamed at in my comments.