So, how many of you have given in and made a New Year's Resolution? Or better yet, we are 7 days into 2011, how many of you have KEPT those resolutions so far?How many have not?
See, I decided this year there will be no positive resolutions; no commitment to a Mrs. Schmitty overhaul. I'm simply not going to make any promises that I can't keep.
In other words, there will be no writing checks my ass can't cash.
Year after year I gear up for the new me to emerge. I will lose weight, I will get in shape, I will be more healthy, I will save more money, I will pay down more debt, I will organize this house, I will spend more time with family and friends, I will take more time for myself, I will, I will, I will.
"HA!" I say.
Each and every one of those resolutions? EPIC FAIL.
Why kid myself when usually the opposite of what I say I will do actually happens? Why set myself up for a fall that is clearly inevitable?
That's too depressing, right?
Instead, I believe a little reverse psychology is in order. I have officially resolved myself as being a giant flop. I'm gonna be a lazy, unhealthy, broke-ass, disheveled, antisocial, fatigued and overburdened slob.
Mark my words, if I put that to the test, I will be sitting quite pretty by December. Just you wait, I'm going to be King of the World!
Either that, or homeless and living in a cardboard box by myself. At least, I'll get some me time.
3 comments:
I've resolved NOT to make any resolutions! Happy New Year, my friend!
I'm with you on this one, although my alternative resolution is "take nobody's crap in 2011". Has a nice ring to it...
Very true and very funny! I can totally relate.
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