Tuesday, March 02, 2010

I Wonder If Our Insurance Will Cover That

My boys can be somewhat obsessive at times.

When their minds lock on to something, you'd better go run and hide because they are going to drive you completely batty.

They will talk incessantly about it. They will ask over and over and over again if they can have it, do it, see it, touch it, eat it, buy it, or use it.

It's enough to drive me to drink. Not that I need an excuse for that.

A friend of W.'s recently got glasses. All of a sudden, my boys went blind. They begged and pleaded for me to take them to get glasses, "RIGHT AWAY!"

T. feigned headaches. W. began squinting at the television.

"Your eyes are totally fine!" I informed them. "T., you just had yours checked at the pediatrician. And didn't you, W., just have the school nurse perform eye exams?"

They looked at each other and then back to me, in unison they whined, "Moooommmm! Our eyes are bad now!"

I rolled mine and walked away.

For the next three days they pestered me. "Did you make us appointments with the eye doctor yet?" and "When are we going to get our glasses?"

W. must have gotten tired of me telling him that the doctor was out of the country because on the fourth day, the school nurse called.

"Hi, Mrs. Schmitty? I have W. here. He's saying that he's having problems seeing the board in class and that he's been having headaches."

Oooooohhhh, that little booger!

I asked the nurse if they had just recently given the eye exams. She told me they had and he had done fine.

Ummmm hmmmm.

I explained the situation to her and asked her to send his ass him back to class and that I would beat speak to him when he got home.

About thirty minutes after I hung up with the nurse, the phone rang again. I saw the school's number on the caller id.

"Mrs. Schmitty? I just gave W. another eye exam. I'm going to send home a letter that recommends he be examined by his doctor. His vision is 20/50 in both eyes."

I burst out laughing.

"Thank you, I'll take care of everything."

Upon arriving home, W. handed me the letter from the nurse. "Did you make my appointment?"

"Don't worry honey, I'll handle it."

It's been two weeks since I received the nurses recommendation letter. Both boys have moved on to obsessing about the new flavor of gum they want to try. Their headaches are gone. The squinting has stopped.

At dinner last night I said to W., "Wow! It was truly amazing how you read that small print on the television last night! I guess your eyesight has been restored! It's a miracle!"

He grinned his special, I can't lie to mom because she knows me too well grin.

"W., I am going to make an appointment for you with a doctor."

"You are?" He questioned.

"Sure, you need to go see a proctologist to get an enema because you are full of poop!"


FireMom said...

My friends' daughters just went through this phase but they didn't write about it nearly as amusingly as you did! I laughed out loud. :)

Crysm said...

Oh my goodness! That totally makes me laugh. Lilly is a bit of a faker and exagerater but I think your boys win that round. LOL

kristi said...

Ha! Your boys are hilarious!

meleah rebeccah said...


I think its a new craze with a lot of kids wanting glasses. So much that a few retail stores like 'Claire's' have started carrying 'fake glasses' so kids can feel cool!

Michele said...

LMAO, my oldest, Maggie went through this stage too. You're a great story teller!

Colleen said...

That's just awesome. Hysterical.


Two of mine went through the glasses things. One went through braces. The only child who did not want glasses...wears them today. LOL

~mel said...

ahhh... kids... they do amuse...

How well I remember those days. I had one with perfectly straight teeth who needed braces in the WORSE WAY!!! and one who's vision was improved 10 times over when she wore sun glasses; with the lenses popped out.