Anyone with children knows the importance of teaching about "stranger danger" and "improper touching".
We try not to scare our offspring too much, though, we basically tell them that there are monsters lurking around every corner of the playground.
We quiz them on what they should do in certain situations. We reinforce that NO one should touch the body parts that would be covered by a bathing suit.
We do tell them that there are only a few exceptions. We tell them it's okay for mommy and daddy to help them bathe. And we explain that it may be necessary for their pediatrician to touch them during an examination, but that's okay too, and we will be right there with them to keep them safe.
As parents and protectors of the young, we strive to cover all of our bases.
But sometimes you might do too good of a job. And in doing so, you might forget to pass along some eensy winsy bit of information.
W. came home from school on Monday a little later than usual. He had taken the late bus home after signing up for spring sports. He is in 6th grade now and can finally have a crack at something new and exciting. He wants to be a track star.
The day before, I had completed the necessary health forms for the school nurse. The students were to have their physicals after school, which would be performed by the school physician.
Upon W.'s arrival home, I asked him how everything had gone. His expression suddenly changed to a scowl and he said, "Oh, greeeeeat!"
I looked at him, quite puzzled.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Um...you forgot to tell me that the doctor was going to make me....um...cough!"
I immediately imagined the scenario. The doctor walks in, snaps a rubber glove on his hand, tells my 11 year old to drop his drawers, grabs his junk, and tells him to cough. The look on my son's face must have been priceless.
I'm just so grateful that he didn't slug him.
I bit my lip and tried not to giggle, "W.! I am sooooo sorry!"
He smirked, "I was like, whaaaaaat?!"
I laughed and quickly turned on Mr. Schmitty, "This is your fault! You should have told the poor boy. I mean I'm not equipped with those parts, how would I think to tell him?!"
Pass the buck, I always say.
So, to Mr. Schmitty, I present you with this Parent of the Year Award!