Thursday, September 10, 2009

Studying Woes

It's only one week into the new school year and I'm frazzled. W. has now entered the 6th grade. He's playing with the big kids now.

W. is naturally smart. He received 4 A's and 1 B as his average grades, in his primary subjects, last year. He didn't put in a whole lot of effort. I did...but he, unfortunately isn't one to go above and beyond. If it's not fun, he doesn't want to do it.

Studying and homework can be a battle.

It's frustrating because with even the slightest bit of elbow grease, he'd really do exceptionally well. But his philosophy has been, "Why bother? I do well enough this way."

And yes, he does. I'm not a stickler for grades. I, of course, want my children to do well. This world requires that if you want to live comfortably in adulthood. But I am not one to insist on straight A's or face my wrath. I just want you to do the best that you can.

And I know he CAN do better. He CAN break a sweat once in a while. Because everything comes to him so easily, he's gotten lazy. I try to explain to him that he needs to improve his work ethic because though he has done well in the past, as he progresses through middle school, things are going to get harder. Things may not come as easily to him. He may actually have to....shall I say the word....STUDY!


The work load has increased tremendously. He already has four quizzes on the schedule. FOUR! I spent last night making up mock tests (on - great site!). I don't mind helping him prepare but how much is too much? I already went through school and I feel like I'm doing it again.

Do any of you have middle school or older kids? I'm going through this for the first time. Does anyone have any studying advice?

I have to figure something out....I've got to do this two more times!!! I'm not sure my heart can take it.


Bonnie the Boss said...

I have one in middle school who is a crappy student. He did okay in grade school, but jr high... no so much. I try to help and I encourage, okay I mean nag, him to get it done. But I really think he needs to learn how to on his own. My parents babied me all through school, and I struggled every step of the way. I guess, I am just trying someting diffrent with his one. He is my first, so we will see how it goes. I will look back to see others advice.

Dina said...

I have 2 sons in middle school. The oldest failed 8th grade last year and is repeating. The younger one is doing fabulous. This year is a new tactic for me, as last year I nagged the oldest to STUDY, and to turn in his work, and to do his homework and blah blah... We both learned lessons. He actually needed to heed my words, and I can't stress myself out like that anymore.
SO, we are watching his progress online. He has goals.. the gimmees. He wants everything. So we set weekly goals. ALSO, if he fails to turn in 3 assignments he is grounded. From his phone, the tv, the computer,and.. gasp. His guitar. I am NOT going to hound him this year. He has to sink or swim.I will hold him accountable, and remind him daily. I will ask to see his finished work to look over. I will stay involved. But I am done with the nagging. It doesn't work.
Good Luck!!!

Mrs.Flabby and Unfabulous said...

I agree that children at this age need to be self led. I applaud your desire to see your child succeed but practice quizes I think are overkill. Especially when it sounds like he is a good student. I have six kids two in highschool, one in middle school and the rest of the lot in elementary. We homeschool and the biggest and most important thing I teach my kids is personal responsability. To be self led and accountable for things they do and don't do. Sometimes they sink before they learn to swim. Some kids flourished and others had to sink and decided the punishment was not worth not buckling down. I hope it helps. Its hard to step back as a parent and let your child taste failure when you know you can help them. Hard as it is sometimes they need it.

This Mom said...

I am so thankful for you question and being able to read the comments. My oldest is in the sixth grade as well. This year and from he on out I am letting him face his consequences. I would rather have him fail now than fail later.

The Fritz Facts said...

Oh man...middle school is not a good time for Parents! Hunter has had issues with school for a very long time. Moving to middle school brought some of those problems out, but also took away a few. He struggles with homework, but knows all the stuff. That is what drives me nuts. We ride him, pretty hard at times, because we don't want another year like last year or the year before.

I think if pushing some to achieve the goal is needed, go for it. But, maybe he needs to see that unless he does the work he won't get the grades. They say the jump from 6th to 7th is the hardest.

Good luck!!!

Aunt Crazy said...

Long time reader, first time commentor.
I have a high school junior and a junior high student. My best advice is to STOP, set rules for his grades and move on. For example, my son the jr in hs, he has to have 80 or better on each progress report and report card or we take the truck keys until the next report comes out. I do monitor online weekly and I will tell him what I see online. I do not nag, hound, or otherwise assist unless specifically asked to do so. My daughter in jr high, she's got the easy road cuz I learned the hard way with the son LOL.

Good luck.