Friday, September 05, 2008

Can They Expel A Pre-Schooler?

I'm sorry I've left you all hanging on the outcome of Miss R.'s first few days of school. Thank you to everyone who commented.

The boys absolutely LOVE school, their teachers, their new friends, and everything else about 5th Grade and Kindergarten.

R.? Not so much.

Thursday was her first official day. I was very nervous because of the way she reacted the day before - WITH me there. It was rough, as was today.

T. and R. both need to be at school at 12:30. He goes in the front door of the building and lines up with his classmates, in the vestibule, at the main entrance. I need to wait with him until his teacher arrives.

I was hoping that R. would see that T. was so happy to be there. I wanted her to feed off of his excitement. I guess she thought he was full of shit, because as soon as we went outside to find her class (the Pre-K kids line up outside at another door), she began to whine that she wanted to go home.

I kept distracting her with small talk, in my ever so chipper voice, and walked to the back of the line with her. The teacher directed the children to start walking into the building.

The line moved. R. did not. She stood completely still. The poor kids behind her didn't know what to do.

Thankfully one of the other moms was quick on her feet. She asked R. to bring her daughter, E., a band-aid because "She really might need this."

R. understanding the importance of band-aids to a 4 year old, began to head to the door. I wanted to hug and kiss that mama.

I looked ahead and saw R. hand the girl the band-aid and again she planted her feet firmly to the concrete. She was not going to step one foot into the building.

Then I saw her teacher pick her up.

My entire body tensed. I was praying to the Lord above that R. didn't clock her during the first week of school.

I turned and went, tears streaming down my face and the sound of my daughter's cries ringing in my ears.

I went home and waited by the phone, sure that I would get a phone call stating that my daughter had given Ms. Liz a black eye.

The call never came and R. came out of that building at 3 pm with her good behavior sticker and a smile.


Mr Lady said...

Awww, that's so hard!

My old school had this policy that pre-k and k parents were not allowed on the playground at line-up time onward, and not allowed in the classroom for the first month. They had it because so many parents would freak out when their kids freaked out, and then everyone was freaking out and it was a mess!

Kudos to you for walking away! You're pretty darn brave, and so is R.!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

My daughter Cait was diagnosed with ADD and they didn't even want her to go to nursery school. they said she couldn't be focused. They are always looking for the perfect kid so they don't have to work it.

Sarah said...

Having been a center director, I need to say you did the absolute right thing!! I have to also warn you that she will probably do that for a few more days. Find out each day what she did and who she played with and then play that up on your way to school everyday. Pretend you're excited and she will be too. Fake it till you make it mama!! Good job today! Keep up the great work!!

Midwest Mommy said...

I hope the next time goes better :-)

Vodka Mom said...

awww. You're a damn good mommy.

georgie said...

Everyone has been bloggin about 1st day of school and it has really taken me back to a time when my beans were that my youngest is a 5th grader-middle bean 8th an oldest bean 9th grade-the cries and fears they/ME have are totally different now-

Hugs to you-

Valerie said...

Aww that must have been hard, I hope it gets easier soon.

Beth said...

You did the right thing, and she lived! She'll get used to it after a week or so. Good job Mama!

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh man. Thats sooo nerve racking!!

I remember when my son was little...he had a hard time going to school, and I had a hard time walking away from him too.

The best thing you can do is exactly what you did. ACT like its FINE. Never let the kids know how upset / nervous / worried YOU are.

You handled this like a PRO!


Mrs. Schmitty said...

Mr. Lady: That's a good policy. My friend's daughter is also having a hard time and they had to change the rules and not let the parents inside. Her daughter would cling to her leg. Heartbreaking!

Queen-size Funny Bone: That is HORRIBLE! I can't stand how kids are labeled.

Sarah: Thank you. I'm sure after the weekend she will forget how much fun she had and it will be like starting over. But I really think she'll be okay soon.

Midwest Mommy: Thank you!

Vodka Mom: Thank you for saying that because I felt like the worst mom walking away!

Georgie: I always thought the young ones were hard...I'm seeing that the bigger they get, the harder it gets!

Valerie: It was VERY difficult, thanks for the thoughts!

Beth: Thank you, I truly hope so!

Meleah: Thanks so much. Thank goodness for sunglasses, that way she didn't see my eyes and my dripping mascara!

The Fritz Facts said...

How hard for both of you!! I hope that next week gets bette for her. Such a huge thing being in preschool, adjustment will come in time.

Maria said...

Oh, yeah. Been there. Not that Liv was the type to punch out her teacher, but she had shown a great ability to cry so hard that she vomited.

And that first day when she emerged smiling? Yep. Priceless.

Tricia said...

I know those tears, and how hard it is not to go back, pick up your child and run in the other direction. Sending hugs to you and R.

Leigh said...

Awww...I hope that with each day it has gotten better. It is just as hard for we mommas as it is for our kids (if not harder). We want to much for their happiness and positive learning experience.

Leslie said...

It's so hard, isn't it? You did great, you know. Just great. Walking away is so hard!