I'm Thinking Of Quiting The Internet

A few weeks ago my computer freaked out on me. It was running slower than snail poop and it was driving me C-R-A-Z-Y. I Googled for some insight, because that's what I do, I Google. Everything.

Now mind you, I'm not a computer geek genius, though I do know a few things, and am pretty good at figuring things out on my own. Strangely, computer stuff comes easily to me. It's a gift.

I concluded that my computer was probably overloaded with spyware. Considering that I am on the internet working reading blogs so much, it's highly likely that this was the problem. All of the advice out there in the blogosphere said to download AdAware. THEY said that after running it, AdAware would take care of all that naughty, nasty spy and adware. No sweat. 'Cause you know, THEY said it. Plus I had Googled it.

I downloaded the program and ran it. Much to my amazement and complete disgust, my computer had about 837 traces of that SNEAKY stuff in MY stuff! Oh step off, yo!

I clicked on the quarantine button and then deleted these little nuisances. I smiled. I rid my baby of those icky bugs. All I had to do was reboot.

I waited for the computer to run through the startup process. I clicked on my personal icon and the computer read, "saving settings, logging off." It went back to my icon. I tried again. And again. And Again. AND.FRICKIN'.AGAIN. @#((*#&$(WY@)@!!!!!!!

Now, to make a looooooooong story short. A computer geek nerd genius needed to come by. After showing me what a real gift for computers was like and $350.00 later, he gave me some new advice on what spyware program I needed to use. I nodded. I would do anything he said because I had my baby back. Oh how I missed her.

I immediately purchased said spyware program. I was TOLD it was the fairest in the land. If this is so, then will someone please, please answer me a question? Why, as I am catching up on mommy blogs, will my browser spontaneously direct me to such lovely sites as;

• runforcover(dot)com ~ the r has been changed from a c and the n from an m to avoid traffic from the freaks actually looking for the site. Weren't they so clever when selecting their domain name?
  
• ihavenoideawhatthissiteiscalledbecauseiclickedoutsofrickinfast(dot)com ~ let me just say that what I did see pop up on my screen involved a female body part and a body part that should have been boxing someone not playing puppeteer.

How's that for a visual? Can you imagine if my kids were using my computer? W. would have been traumatized for life. Hell, I think I am.