Sunday, June 22, 2008

Forget The Zohan....You Don't Mess With Mrs. Schmitty!

I had a meeting with the kids on the first day of summer vacation. I told them they were still going to take care of the few chores they had. Daily. Not just when they felt like doing them. They all have their lists of chores and things they need to do, like brush their teeth and hair, get dressed, etc. You know, the things that they have been doing like, forever. The things I, for some reason, need to remind them to do. Daily. Next thing you know I'll be reminding them to breathe.

They are to do all of these things BEFORE friends come over or video games are played. I think that's fair because once fun time begins, well, forget about anything being accomplished.

This morning I found them, in pajamas, rooms a mess, playing Wii. W. was asking if friends could come over. ARE YA KIDDING ME?!

It's only been 3 days since the meeting.

"T., get dressed, please." "T., GET DRESSED!" "HELLLLLOOOOOOO?!" He then began his recent habit of arguing with me. I threatened soap on the tongue.

I told W. to turn off the Wii and clean the pig sty he called a room. He continued to set up a game. "Don't start that game!" I said. He started the game. UUUUUUUUUGH!

I turned off the tv and game console. I started freaking out on them. I think I was justified.

I came downstairs, steam coming out of my ears.

Mr. Schmitty says to me, "When I get back from W.'s church camp meeting, why don't you go back to sleep."

HUH? "Everyone around here ignores me so I flip out. Then YOU tell me I need more sleep?! That's why I flipped?! Are you serious?!

He knew he was doomed. It was almost as bad as the time he excused my justified yelling for PMS. NEVER.EVER.EVER tell a woman, "that's okay, honey, I know you are just PMSing." NEVER.

I told him to go away before I smacked him with the laundry basket I was holding. Any of you that read my blog regularly, know, I may not be able to kick his butt physically, BUT, I will triumph in my own sneaky way. I'm vindictive that way.

I waited for him to get in the shower. I walked in, flushed the toilet and then proceed to pour a glass of, from our cooler, ice cold water over the top of the shower curtain. He was scorched and then I dowsed the burn...'cause I'm thoughtful that way.

"Smell it, smell it, smell it, now take it!"


Queen Goob said...

I bow before the almighty and powerful Mrs. Schmitty, my liege.

I hope you made them make their own dinner and clean up the mess, too! While you went out by yourself....okay, so that may have been pushing it but it WAS a good thought!

Leigh said...

Girl, I feel your pain. My kids got the same speech, yet they too are not geeting responsibilites done. They say, "I did it" and I will go and check and it might be half way done.
It is ver likely that I loose my mind by summers end.
I think Moms need a built in summer vacation!

Bonnie the Boss said...

My 12 year old asked me one time if I was having my period. I ripped his head off, and then explained very calmly that you never ask a woman that. You can think it all you want, but keep your trap shut.
I feel your pain in the chore department. I thought you must have peeked in my window and saw how things go here, minus the Wii. That as the give away.

Zephra said...

Mine do the same thing. Try hiding the Wii before you go to bed. they can't play if they can't find it...

Karly said...

You are evil with that toilet/cold water thing. I love it! :)

Good luck with the kids.

Amy W said...

I can't stand it when my husband tells me I am PMSing...makes me want to throw something at his head.

Justice Jones said...

I know exactly how you feel. I repeat myself daily. "Pick up your underwear!" "Brush your teeth!" The meeting sounds like a great idea. Someone told me to put a daily checklist on the bathroom mirror that reminds them what must be done before they walk out of the room or go to bed. I may try it.

ADK_Chamber said...


I will never forget standing in the kitchen lamenting how hard it can be to find pants that are long enough for me, when my husband, in what he thought was a sensitive and understanding move, said, "You should go to a big and tall shop."

Amanda said...

Totally just left a comment still logged into my work account. My wattage has been exceedingly low of late.

slackermommy said...

I also use the flush the toilet while in shower trick. The cold water over the top is even better. Thanks for the tip.

Jennifer H said...

I am very, very impressed. Well done. So deserved, too.

kristi said...

LOL!! Are you my long lost evil twin?? I am evil too!!

Lynette said...

MUCH more considerate that me. I will flush the toilet, or dump cold water on him in the shower. But not both. Very impressive.

EE said...

I do believe I'm going to have to file that act of revenge away...hehehe!!!!