Saturday, May 19, 2007

There'll Be Stains On The Carpet

My dear princess R., you know the one with the sweet disposition, is still potty TRAINING. She will be four in October. She started her training process on her third birthday. She started off strong and I thought we'd be free of diapers in this house until grandkids. She was so happy to receive her bribe reward of strawberry Twizzlers every timed she tinkled.

"I'm a BIG girl!" she would shout from the roof tops.

I don't know what happened but she must have gotten bored with the whole thing. Because now, we are back to square one. Only I think it's worse. I swear, unless I smell her, she'll walk around with a load in her pants for the entire day. It doesn't faze her in the least.

I am now having flashbacks to W. He, being my first born, well, I stressed a lot more about how things should be done. You know, you read all of those articles in Parents magazine, which basically tell you that each milestone should be reached very easily and at such and such a time. It's only natural with a nervous, new mom that if you don't reach that milestone, you believe you are a failure. It's only after you have more kids that you realize all of that stuff is a crock. I remember trying to potty train him as one of the most arduous tasks in child rearing I had yet to encounter. W. is a VERY strong willed child, well, all of my children are, but he and I wound up having a battle of the wills over where he was going to relieve himself. When he turned four I remember thinking that he would graduate high school in Depends because they stopped making Luvs after a size 6. I was beside myself. When we signed him up for preschool we decided to take him in for a look around. Then the idea struck me. W. is a very active kid who LOVES to be outdoors running, climbing, and jumping. We went into one of the classrooms and that's where I saw my glimmer of hope. Through the windows it glowed like a beacon. The school had a brand spanking new playground!

Hmmm....."Hey W., see that playground?" He nodded.

"Well, that's where ALLLL of the kids who are potty trained get to play." I then took him across the hall.

"See this room? This is the room where ALLLL of the kids who wear diapers take a nap while the others go on the playground." Silence.

That day when we got home, he went into his room, put on his big boy underwear and the rest is history!

So, back to my future Diva. She's got even more spunk than W. I'm doomed. I put her Strawberry Shortcake underwear on her this morning. She is now sitting on a towel in the living room and getting annoyed with me every time I ask her if she has to go. I figure if the floor is good enough for the puppy, it's good enough for my daughter! I think I'll be doing lots of extra laundry today. I told her she wasn't allowed to wear diapers until bedtime.

If this doesn't work, my next and final alternative will be more drastic. I'm sure everyone has seen this picture circulating around the web:

It got me to thinking:

But I may have to rethink, she is just way too young for her first leg and bikini wax.


Mom on Coffee said...

Ugh. Rolly Polly is training here too. Its hell. I've only had one easy trainer, I must have pissed God off, really bad, at some point.

Zephra said...

OMG thanks for the laugh. Kamran was 4 1/2 before he was trained. We started a age 18 months. It was hell. I pushed too hard and blah blah blah. I am just taking it in stride with Zakary. When he gets it, he gets it. He will sit on the potty but freaks out if he pees. He will wear underwear and for the most part will not have an accident but will beg for a diaper rather then go in the potty. After 4 kids and countless daycare kids, potty training is my most hated of all mommy jobs.

Maria said...

I was lucky with Liv. She was right on schedule and no problems. But, my friend, Harriet, is just about ready to lose her mind with her daughter who is 4. I am going to pass your suggestion on to her.....:)

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

My youngest is 26 months and I'm not even really worried about potty training yet. However I am so filing away that duct tape idea. ;)

EE said...

Potty-training sucks!!!!!
I never thought I'd get my 3rd one out of diapers!!

Java Junkie said...

Parker's just turning 2 and a half. He loves the idea of sitting on the potty chair... but not because he wants to use it, but rather because it's a little chair sized just for him and he gets lots of attention from all 3 of us while he's on it. And the third best thing is that he gets to have his clothes off. He's in his little nudist stage. All this would be fine and dandy - I would sit there all day long with him sitting on the potty if only he would SIT on the POTTY. He wants to stand up and get his car, come back, then stand up and check the tray underneath, then sit back down then stand up and make sure the door is shut and then stand up and check the tray again. All of this is doubled with me sounding like a stuttering idiot ..."Ba ba baby Par er Par Parker no you don't have to touch that. Now sit down honey. No don't put your fingers in there, that's for poo poo and pee pee, sit down now honey. No you don't need to take the tray out yet you haven't pottied yet. Honey sit down, mommy made sure the door is shut nice and tight. If I could just find one thing that would occupy his mind long enough for him to sit in tinkle I think we'd have it made.

Hang in there! :)

Shelli said...

lol, on your potty seat/duct tape idea. Seriously, I know what you are going though. David turned 4 last week and except for "mistakes" here and there he finally is 95% trained. I never thought I would see the day.

Hang in there, she can't hold out forever! ;-)

pickel said...

Ah, we went back to square one with Little Pickel too. I posted the story on

Luckily he decided last week that he was ready and went back to it. But, like zephra, I pushed too hard so I jsut let him be. MIL always made snide comments to him though and it really ticked me off.

The thing that got him last week though was that he got to watch tv if he pooped!