Saturday, February 10, 2007

Toilet Talk

Tonight I was in my upstairs hallway and I hear, "Make bubbles" slight pause, "Pop bubbles". There was another pause and then again, "Make bubbles" slight pause, "Pop bubbles." I recognize the little voice of T. behind the closed door of the bathroom. "He's into the new bottle of bubble bath", I think to myself. I open the door as I imagine the sight I'm about to encounter. I just know I'm going to find a HUGE mess in my just cleaned bathroom. But low and behold, the room is not filled with Elmo's Bubble Bath. I see T. standing over the open toilet. He again is saying, "Make bubbles" as he pees. Then he stops himself. Then he resumes and says, "Pop bubbles". What CONTROL that boy has!

Speaking of toilets. I seem to be spending a lot of time in the lavatory these days. R. is potty training. I swear she's going to be just like W. and battle me with this until she is 4. Mr. Schmitty and I have resorted to the sugar bribes. Pee, and she gets a Twizzler, poop and she gets two. So, needless to say, I'm spending most days sitting on the edge of the tub while she drips out a drop or two. Yes, just to get her damn Twizzler. And though it's barely enough to even bother with toilet paper, I must acknowledge her effort.

Wednesday she had just finished straining out her little droplets and I was helping her on with her Pull-up. I praised her with high fives, hugs, and kisses. Nevermind those, "Mommy, get my candy." Just then T. needed some help with a very unruly sock that wouldn't get on his foot. I told R. to give me a second.

Well, I guess that second was just too much for her to handle. I heard the kitchen chair being dragged across the floor. I jumped up and ran, hoping to cut her off at the pass. By the time I had gotten downstairs she was standing on top of the counter and had grabbed the container of Twizzlers from the top of the refrigerator. She had one in each hand and about five had dropped to the floor. I put her down so she didn't fall and before I could even say a word-SHE TOOK OFF! Man, does she move quick! She ran into the next room shoving the two pieces of red licorice in her mouth. She was laughing so hard. And unfortunately so was I. How could I not, it was hilarious. I tried to compose myself enough to explain that stealing Twizzlers was naughty. I don't think I convinced her. Hell, I don't think I convinced myself.


Maria said...

I hated every moment of potty training and everyone kept telling me to chill out, that she wouldn't be wearing a diaper at her wedding, etc. All kinds of stuff that doesn't help when you are thinking that this will never end.

Finally, one was just over. And, no...I don't miss one day of it.

I never thought of twizzlers. I think I did try M&M's.....

Zephra said...

It seems that everyone is potty training. Maybe I need to start.

The Green Family said...'s a good thing!

Surviving Motherhood said...

You know, i have been wondering how I am going to deal with those 'it's funny but I really shouldn't laugh as it will only encourage naughty behavior' moments, and I unfortunately I think I am going to be much the same. Hell, if you can't teach them a goo sense of humor what can you teach them eh?

Of course, thats totally going to backfire on me, isn't it?

Justice Fergie said...

Hilarious. And we are going through the same thing. Now my Oldest announces she has to pee whenever she wants to get out of doing something (i.e. eat her veggies or go to sleep). We can't win for losing!

You'll be really sorry when you see the remnants of a Twizzler in the potty after she goes #2! (sorry for the visual) lol.

BlondeMom said...

I've just got one more kid to potty train and I'm sooooo not looking forward to it.

However I'm filing a way that Twizzlers idea. I'm all about parenting via bribery! ;)

Justice Jones said...

Hey, this is such a funny story! Make Bubbles, Pop Bubbles. I love it!