Thursday, April 12, 2007

Here we go again

I am quite certain that any mom reading this will agree, when it comes to being a mom there is no subject your kids won't delve into. Some subjects they become obsessed with. And I believe the same moms will agree that when you have children there is no privacy, no modesty, and usually no dignity as well.

That being said, the subject, as you can see from this post, my kids are currently stuck on, is body parts. As men, women know that it's a toss up which head they will use to think with, depending on the situation. But for all of you without sons, let me tell you the camaraderie with their little wee-wees begins as soon as they learn to control their arms.

But this post isn't about W. or T. It's about my little girl. My demonic sweet daughter, R. She's still a little confused about the private part terminology. I guess with two older brothers, who wouldn't be at only three years old.

Yesterday I was sitting on the john. In strolls R., I don't even bother closing the door anymore, because really, what's the point?

"Mommy, I have a penis."

I roll my eyes, here we go again. "No, honey, you don't. Mommy keeps telling you, you have a vagina."

I've read all of the parenting books, I try to use the proper names for their anatomy like all of the shrinks say. And for some reason, I don't know why, I have no problem telling my boys they have a penis but when I tell R. she has a vagina, I cringe every time. Every.single.time.

"Oh. Can I see your penis?"

"Mommy is a girl too, I'm like you, I don't have a penis, I have a vagina." *cringe* I'm thinking I should record this and play it for her while she sleeps at night so I don't have to keep having this conversation.

"Oh. Can I see your bagina?"

"Va-gina. *cringe* And no, it looks just like yours, nothing to see here."

Like a flash, and we know that girl can move, she runs between me on the pot and the bathtub. I get poked in the left cheek by her little finger, what is it with my tush this week?

"Is that your bagina?"

"Va...oh forget it. No, that's my hiney. Now get out of there!" So much for the anatomically correct language.

She comes back around front. I am just about to stand up and again, quick as lightning she practically sticks her head in my crotch.

"Is that your bagina?"

I swear I heard an echo.


Babybull40 said...

That is so funny..Bagina *cringe*..
I have a boy.. and sometimes I ask him if he knows where his pee pee is.. he points in the right direction.. but I don't cringe.. I guess that will later... Great post..

Justice Fergie said...

this post cracked me up.

i FEEL you on the "not-bothering-to-close-the-bathroom-door-thing" There really IS no point.

And boy oh boy I better get ready - Oldest turns 3 this summer. And I can tell that the little wheels in her brain are already turning when she sees me getting dressed.

Can you just send me your tape recording? That way you can spare me the joy of saying the "v word" over and over again!

Rootietoot said...

I have all boys, and their grandfather told them their penis was called a 'tallywhacker'. Of course, grandfathers have infinitely more veracity than mothers, so I just had to let it go.

Rootietoot said...

but now, they're teenagers, and know better.

Oh, The Joys said...

Remember - "Your other butt is a Volvo!"

Jen said...

I think it's because "vagina" is just a gross sounding word. "Penis" is nice and clinical and simple and "vagina" weird and funny sounding. Or maybe I just have a massive hang up.

melody said...

This is great.

As a mom to four boys, I spent like forever convincing them that I did not have a penis. Of course they asked what I had and *cringe* I had to explain vagina to boys.*re-cringe*

BTW, my first visit and I love your blog.

Zephra said...

I have yet to use the "V" word with my daughter. I just can't do it.

Misslionheart said...


My daughter asked me what a 'bagina' was a while ago, she'd heard the word at school. I promised her I had never heard of the word....

Well, I *haven't*! lol

Maria said...

Oh, god...I really laughed at that one. I am the only one still awake in the house and I actually looked around guiltily, sure I had woken someone up with my hooting...

Great post.

Java Junkie said...

I have two boys but I did nanny 3 girls for a few years and I can say penis till the cows come home but girls.. girls have a "little woman part." ;)

I also have a brother 2 years older than me and my mother loves to tell the story of when she was changing me on the changing table. She had to leave unexpectedly (I can't remember exactly why, phone rang, forgot pins, something) so she asked my brother to keep an eye on me on the table. When she returned my brother had one of my ankles in each of his hands, stretching them apart, looking intently. As soon as he saw her he glared at her and demanded "WHERE'S HER PENIS?!" The ever protective big brother. :)

EE said...

I'm laughing my butt off...oh, wait, I'm laughing my Gluteous Maximus off!!