Saturday, April 14, 2007

Not Superstitious Anymore

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. W.'s school was having their annual PTA Installation Dinner and Chance Auction. All of the moms in the neighborhood get together, leave the kids home with the dads and get a table. Yes, we have to listen to the principal give her speech, blah, blah, blah. But then we get to have some drinks, without kids, eat great food, have some drinks, win some great prizes, have some drinks, have some laughs, have some more drinks, and did I say, NO KIDS ALLOWED?

I almost didn't make it to the dinner last night. I'm not usually a believer in the whole unlucky Friday the 13th thing. But in the hour and a half before I left everything started to go wrong. I almost put on my pjs and called it a night. It all started when I asked hubby to run to the bank for me. I had some deposits that needed to be made and I needed some money for the auction. I told him I had a few things to do in the house and then the kids were his and I was going to actually take my time getting showered and ready for a night out with the girls.

He left and came back rather quickly. He handed me my receipts and I asked where my money was. "Oh shi...t," he replied. Typical. "Don't worry about it, I have plenty of time, I'll just go later." I walked away before I slapped him in the head. No big deal.

I went downstairs to iron the jacket I was going to wear. It only had a few creases in it from hanging in my closet. I could have gotten away with it, but NO, I had to heat up that damn iron. I must first tell you, I NEVER iron. I usually live in jeans and tee-shirts so if my clothes look a little too lived in, they get tossed in the dryer. Anything else goes to the dry cleaner. So I spread out the jacket and barely get the iron on the fabric. Ssssssss. Stuck right to the sleeve. Big old iron print. Oh for the love of GOD!

Now I have to find something else to wear, time is ticking. So much for that leisurely shower. I quickly hosed off and did my hair...which didn't come out too badly given the lack of attention it got. Makeup on. Looks okay, one more coat of mascara and I'll be finished. OH.MY.EYE!!! I'm blind! Quick, it burns, it burns. Big glob of black on my eyeball!!! My right eye now looks like I've been sucker-punched. Start over.

I have 3 people who are waiting for me. I hate being late. I'm always early. I run upstairs in my bra and underwear. It is broad daylight out, I run right past the front window. I don't care who sees me now. Would serve them right if they were looking in anyway.

I yell to Mr. Schmitty to run back to the bank to get my money, PLLLLLEASSSE. I'm late, I'm partially naked, Jen is waiting to pick me up, Pretty Please!

The bank is only 2 minutes from my house. I throw on my clothes and call my neighbor to say I'm just about ready to come on over to pick me up. I'm just waiting for my money and then we can go. I stand by the doorway and I have R. hanging on my leg. "Don't go mommy, you can't leave me, I'll miss you!" She is now snotting all over my black pants. Where.Is.Your.Father? My neighbor is sitting out front, I'm using my fists by my eyes to show her that R. is crying. I then place my hand in the shape of a gun to my forehead. Where.The.Hell.Is He? I call on the cell. "Where are you?" I try to say sweetly. "You needed gas in the van, I'm at the gas station."

Do you think he could EVER listen to me? "I'm not driving, I told you Jen was, and she's been waiting outside for the last 15 minutes while I wipe your daughter's boogers off my leg and wondering if you crashed the car." He says, "Oh, I'll be right home."

He gets home, I go outside and grab my cash, give him a kiss and jump in the Jeep. I look up at the doorway and see that R. has locked him out of the house. Ha, payback! I called him from the corner, W. finally looked up from the TV long enough to open the door.

Friday the 13th...I ain't winning jack tonight I think to myself. Well, guess what?! I kicked major booty!

I won a basket of 5 Webkins for the kids. Which I am so thankful for because they would have driven me crazy today if I hadn't.

I won a 7 person tent, 2 sleeping bags, a huge beach type blanket, and 2 fold-up chairs (you know the kind people bring to soccer games, etc.).

And I won a tote bag with assorted pencils, crayons, markers, etc. Along with a $250.00 gift certificate for the preschool I am sending T. to in September. There were also t-shirts and promotional items from the school. And a $100 gift certifcate toward a moon bounce rental!

So much for superstitions! Whoo-Hoo!


ChaCha said...

Hi I love your blog. I just came across it through links somehow so can't even give someone credit for it, lol.

I feel for you, it only gets better, you just have to wait a long time. One day you'll go out and nobody will even care, enjoy it while you can.

mcewen said...

Clearly you should have Friday the 13th more often! When's the next one?

Maria said...

Ah. Webkins. Liv has one and is pining for another one as all her friends have about 5. I have a total love-hate relationship with them. They keep her busy, but they have turned her into this little money hog. She recently was videotaped with her webkins for a documentary Bing is making for an Apple seminar about kids and computers.

And, I LOVED the part where you mimed your daughter crying and you putting a gun to your head. I mean, I had such a clear picture in my head and wished you were MY neighbor.

I have yet to send Bing on an errand that is successful.

Misslionheart said...

Glad it ended well!

I can't remember a time when I was able to get myself ready to go out without the children giving me guilty pangs!

Happy Sunday

Shelli said...

I don't iron on Friday the 13th or any day for that matter. lol. Well, at least you had a good ending to the day.

Zephra said...

Despite the crap start, you sure did end it well.

Justice Fergie said...

WHOA!! You totally racked up. See...the ruined jacket was almost worth it ;)

Babybull40 said...

I have a question for ya.. what are Webkins? I live in Canada and have NEVER heard of them.. they sound cool though whatever they are...With all your crappy misses you ended up having a good ending to your day..Sounds like you made out like a Bandita... Now you realize that you will HAVE TO GO CAMPING.. with that

Twisted Cinderella said...

Rofl that is just too funny. Glad you won! And that you kicked butt even if Friday 13th started out kinda rough. LOL

Java Junkie said...

Shwag rules! Hell, the tent, chairs, and blanket all make for an extended weekend camping trip! Congrats on your winnings - now run out and buy a lotto ticket! :)