Thursday, March 29, 2007

So nice to meet you! (batting eyelashes)

The house across the street from us sold recently. The morning of closing a woman was standing outside taking down the sold sign. I was getting the kids in the car to take W. to school and the woman yells over to me, "You'll be having a new neighbor today!" I replied, "Oh, welcome, are you our new friend?" She shakes her head and says, "No, I sold the house. A young man, very nice will be doing some work first before he moves in."

Hmmmm. I think to myself.

"Does he have a family?" I ask coyly.

"I think he has a fiance, no children. Well, I have to go, have a nice day." she ends the conversation and walks away.

"Oh, I'm gonna have fun with this one!" I think to myself as I pull the van out of the driveway.

You see Mr. Schmitty and I love to bust on one another about the opposite sex. And pretty much everything else. We completely trust each other so I think that's why we have to much fun with it. We know the other will never stray. I tease him all the time when I see a pretty girl. "Go ahead honey, it's okay to look, just don't touch!" I will tell him. He gets very red in the face because he knows he was caught!

A new single, well technically anyway, young guy across the street, I had to spread the news! I called my friend down the street to fill her in. "Ooooooh", she giggles. We decided we needed to tell our husbands that we were going to be the new Desperate Housewives and we were going to bring him muffins! Then we would sit in my living room and look out the bow window drinking wine and drooling while he washed his car. We were hysterically laughing. Now, to call the husbands and let them know they had competition! Mr. Schmitty, of course, takes it well. I can always make him laugh.

When I see the new guy working on his house I always have to pass a comment. He came outside in a white tank top the other day and I ran passed Mr. Schmitty and said, "Move it buster, I got something to see!" It's all in fun, really, I haven't even see the guys face up close, he could be extremely fugly for all I know.

I had a chance the other night to reverse it on Mr. Schmitty. He and the neighborhood men were going to play poker, including the new guy, who was bringing his fiance. Mr. Schmitty decided to shower before he left because he had to get up early the next morning for work. I hear him in the bathroom and realize he is shaving. He never shaves on the weekend unless we have somewhere special to go. Here's my opportunity. I'm really good at keeping a straight face. He never can tell when I'm joking or serious.

"Why are you shaving?" I ask.

"I have work in the morning".

"Well, you know you'll have to shave again, so what's the point?"

"I don't know, what's the difference?"

"I think you are just hoping to sit next to the new girl".

He is laughing.

I'm not.

He's not so sure now.

"Oh, you can't be serious!"

"Well, you smell nice, you are clean shaven, and with me being so sick lately....."

"Oh cut it out!"

"I wouldn't blame you." Now sounding completely pathetic.

"I would never do that!"

I walk past him and smack him on the back of the head. "Oh for God's sake, don't you know me after 24 years?!"


Anonymous said...


You make sure you bat your eyelashes REAL good, chiquita!

k8 said...

the other night i told myhusbadn i know why he really like dancing w the stars. he played dumb. yeah right!

homemom3 said...

hehe, ya'll sound like my hubby and me. :) We love doing stuff like that. :)

Justice Fergie said...

lol. nothin' like harmless teasing to strengthen a marriage :-)

DraMa said...

Honey, I think I love you.... this is HILARIOUS and so like my hubs and I!

I tell him, frequently.... "Babes, don't you have things you need to do? My boyfriend is supposed to be coming over soon".

Or when he calls me in the middle of the day I answer and say things like "God! Why do you always have to interrupt me and the boyfriend!"

It's all in fun and we trust each other implicitly too:)