Don't Make Me Shake It!

Okay, first my daughter gets all silly over her first crush. And by the way, you should see the two love birds after school. As "Zaaaaacaaaary's" mom and I wait for the older kids to get dismissed, the two of them swoon over one another. It's SO cute!

Remember how W. came home from school back in June and declared that he had a girlfriend? He didn't even have to wait until 5th grade! Well, said girlfriend wasn't seen all summer. One day I asked him if M. was still his girlfriend and he said, "Well, mom, she felt kind of weird dating, so we're just friends now."

So adorable. Giggle.

Today he came home from school and told me that he has a NEW girlfriend.

"Oh yea? What's her name?"

"O. And two other boys in my class asked her to be their girlfriend and she said no. I said to her, If I ask you to be my girlfriend what would you say? And she said YES!"

"Wow! You go boy!" He's so competitive. Giggle.

A while later he asked to use the phone.

"Um, no, you are grounded." I said.

"But I want to call my girlfriend." The cuteness is starting to wear off.

"Listen bud, first of all you are grounded, second of all, you don't need to be chatting away on the phone with O. You saw her all day in school, you'll see her Monday."

He got a silly grin on his face. "Mom, we are getting to the kissing part."

HUH?! Okay, not cute at all.

"No, you aren't! Quite honestly you are too young for a girlfriend and more importantly you are too young for kissing!"

"Only on the cheek mom!"

"NO! I'm sure her parents wouldn't appreciate it. Do you understand?" [feeling faint at the thought]

"Okay!"

He turned and started up the stairs. "Oh, and I asked her to the 5th grade Social next week. She's my date!" And he ran to his room before I could answer.

Well, that's okay, I'm chaperoning! I've already got him nervous because I told him that when a good song comes on I'm going to yell from across the gym, "Hey sweetie, come dance with MAMA!!" as I shake my big old bum toward the dance floor.

All I'll have to do is remind him of that and he'll be on his BEST behavior!

I Guess He Couldn't Wait

W. just couldn't or wouldn't wait until 5th grade. He came home from school, two days ago, and informed me that he now has a girlfriend. Yes, I honestly know he is too young to have a girlfriend. I've told him that. But if you knew my W., you'd know that having a girlfriend is no different than having a girl that is a friend. Okay, except for the making out part, but I'm thinking he's all talk.

The girl he is now referring to as "his girlfriend" is just that. A girl. A friend. A girlfriend. They've been very close friends since kindergarten. I guess all of this talk of wanting a girlfriend made him think, "Hey! What about M.?!" Yea, that's the ticket.

Voilà! Instant girlfriend and he didn't even need to add water.

I asked him if he chose M. because he just wants to say he has a girlfriend or if he really likes her that much.

"Well, mom," he begins, trying to sound all growed-up and mature, "We've been friends, like forever, so we just finally got here."

Ahhhhh....now I get it, it was in the stars, you know destiny.

M.'s birthday was yesterday and for a class treat she brought in butterfly shaped cookies. Upon arriving home, W. said, "R. and T., my girlfriend had two cookies left over and my girlfriend was nice enough to send them home for you. Wasn't that nice of my girlfriend?"

The poor girl doesn't even have a name anymore.

W.'s birthday is today. Their birthdays are only a day a part. How absolutely romantic, though a bit scary as they are both Gemini. I'm not sure about M., but W. - total Gemini.

Happy Birthday, my love!! You have finally hit the double-digits! I guess that's why you felt the need to hook up. Because we all know that 10 is the new 16.

Hmmm...I wonder if your girlfriend will try to give you a birthday smooch.

You so know I'll be asking!

Boy Crazy Girls

My niece was telling me of a falling out she had with one of her "friends". Seems that this "friend" was pissed off that the boy she liked didn't return her feelings. Instead he seems to have a thing for my niece A. instead. This "friend", who I will refer to as M., apparently sent A. a nasty note during class. It was a picture of a bottle with the word Poison written on it. Under the little doodle were the words, "Drink this bitch and die."

They are just 13 years old.

In my day, I would have waited for this girl to come outside at recess and I would have beat the crap out of her confronted her. But you have to be more careful in this time of lawsuits.

So, my niece told the principal and the mother's were called, a conference ensued, and M. was grounded. Now they are friends again.

Oh the drama.

I told my niece that this wouldn't be the first time nor the last time she was going to battle with a friend over a boy.

My advice was just not to fret over it. It's inevitable. It's not the end of the world. It's going to happen.

I recalled a story of a similar situation I went through in high school. I began dating a boy that one of my friends, T., liked. I didn't know it at the time. Instead of talking to me about it, she avoided me. I then began receiving prank phone calls on my private line, which thank goodness I had because my father would have killed me. The calls came at all times of the day. I thought it was funny at first because it was so childish. After a while the calls just got annoying.

I knew I needed to do something because quite honestly, I was getting bored with the whole thing. I had a suspicion it was T. but couldn't prove it. There was talk that T. had another girl, B., making calls too. I had to take some action. I'm glad I did because we became great friends again.

I must say, that I still don't know who I taught a lesson to on the day the phone calls stopped. We never spoke about it.

All I know is that one of them is more than likely deaf in one ear. They would have to be after I blew that coach's whistle into the phone.

"That's My Boy!" exclaimed Mr. Schmitty

Today I was in the kitchen and I heard T. call to me. He was on the potty and needed a wipe. I really can't wait until those days are over. Anyway, I go upstairs, open the door and he's sitting on the john reading, well not reading but looking at this:
Yes, that is my new Victoria Secret Catalogue. He looks up at me, grinning from ear to ear, and says, "I like girls." I'm SO glad I walked in on him drooling over the photos at only 4 years old. When my magazine starts to disappear at the age of, I don't know, say 14 or 15, I'll make sure to always knock first. And as would be expected, Mr. Schmitty was very proud of his son today!