Friday, May 16, 2008

Things That Made Me Laugh Yesterday

What is it with men? My mother told me that my brother stopped by her house the other day with her Mother's Day gift. She had missed out on the brunch that I had thrown for her and my mother-in-law and our families because she was ill. My brother's gift was a Tiger Lily, nice right? Well it probably was before it was left in his trunk for 3 days.

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I stopped to gas up the minivan, as I was practically on *E. I rolled down the window and as I cringed at the price per gallon, I told the attendant to fill it up. The man was middle eastern and had a heavy accent. When he returned my debit card to me he said, "Thank you ma'am." By the way, I hate that I am now a ma'am, when did that happen? Anyway, R. asked, "Mommy, what did that man say?" I told her and she responded, "No, I think he said thank you muffin."

*(Update for Jen at Problem Girl: E=Empty not E=Ecstasy. I save the drugs for when I'm not driving around with the kids!)

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When W. got home from school yesterday he informed me, "Mom, I think I'm going to have to get a girlfriend next year in 5th grade." "Oh really?" I replied. "Yea, then I'll ask her if she wants to make out." Oh Mr. Schmitty, I think it's time for a sit down with oldest!

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We went out to dinner last night. I was talking to Mr. Schmitty and as usual the kids were all trying to get my attention by yelling over one another. I kept right on talking until I heard T. say, "Mom, am I going to have to whistle to get your attention?" To which R. needed to say, to one up her brother, "Mom, am I going to have spit at you to get your attention?"

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And lastly, I saw this at Kelley's blog and just had to steal it. It completely cracked me up!

13 comments:

Jen said...

I had to read this about 6 times before I realized tht you meant your gas tank was empty, not that you were on Ecstasy when you went to get gas.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

LOL!! Read the update!!

The Fritz Facts said...

I laughed so hard at the video! I have never seen that before.

Super B's Mom said...

I love that W "HAS TO" get a girlfiend. I mean it is 5th grade and all.

Just minus the make-out part.

BTW....I always hated the Count. Now I know why. Perverted bastard. haha

Queen Goob said...

You have the funniest family, from your brothers to your kids to your husband.

And don't forget to post and let us know how that conversation goes with Mr. Schmitty and W. In fact, try to camouflage yourself so you can get right in there and hear the whole thing. THAT is gonna be funny!

Kelley said...

HEY! You stole that from me... hang on, I totally stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else. So it's all good..

And I would totally go for 'muffin' over 'ma'am', unless it was muffin top and then not so much

Maria said...

You made me laugh and I truly needed that so bad today.

Thanks, muffin...

Jennifer H said...

I love that video--I've seen it a couple of times now, and it never stop being funny.

One question: Where do you live that you can get an attendant to fill up your tank? Clearly, it's some kind of utopia. He could call me ma'am or muffin, or just about anything, as long as I didn't have to pump my own gas.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

The Fritz Facts: I never saw it either, isn't it hilarious?!

Super B's Mom: 5th grade around here is late! I hear some of the kids have had girlfriends since 3rd!

Queen Goob: Thank you! And camouflage this body? Doubtful. But I will definitely let you know how it goes!

Kelley: Sorry I stole...but I gave you credit!! Muffin top...no, that wouldn't fly.

Maria: Glad I could oblige...cupcake!

Jennifer H: I live in Jersey. We can sit on our lazy butts here and let someone else pump our gas. I wouldn't know what to do with the nozzle. Hey...wait a minute...the gas nozzle, that is!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

So funny! Have a good weekend!

slouching mom said...

ah, yes, new jersey -- where you aren't even ALLOWED to pump your own gas. why is that, anyway?

your family seems to have the one-liners mastered!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Shamlessly Sassy: Thanks you too!

Slouching Mom: I don't know why that is. But that's okay, for the prices they are asking, they should be changing my oil and kissing my feet too!

Zephra said...

The E comment had me laughing but the count...well, I peed my pants and I am going to steal it and post it on my blog. We have such dirty minds.