Friday, July 24, 2009

They Don't Like You, They Just Can't Help Themselves

Did you ever have a boy pull your pigtails in elementary school? I had always heard that this was a sign that a boy really liked you. He was too immature to tell you, so he tormented you instead.

Know what I think of that explanation?

HOGWASH!

Now that I am a mother of two adolescent boys, I am witness to their every day behavior. Boys? Frankly, they are, without a doubt, just plain obnoxious!

My boys can not get through a day, or an hour, without me yelling at them to knock it off.

They harass. They poke. They tease. They trip. They downright torture each other.

Nothing they do is without foolery. Simply getting them to brush their teeth is like....well, pulling teeth. Within seconds they are laughing uncontrollably and I'll hear such a ruckus that I think someone may just fall through the floor.

Now, I'm a fan of being silly. I try to be at least once a day. It keeps you young. But their wild ways are beginning to grate on my last nerve.

This morning I was taking a quick shower, though it was more like I was trying to break a speed record. I know that I only have moments before the lunacy kicks in.

They had a few easy tasks to complete; finish breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth and hair, and wash their faces. The boys had religious education classes and only had a half an hour to finish up before we needed to leave.

I jumped in the shower and began my race against the clock. Just as I began shaving my legs, I heard footsteps pounding across the hardwood floors. It had begun.

I swiped the razor up my legs, trying not to draw blood.

I heard them practically falling down the stairs over each other. They rushed, screeching, past the bathroom. I shaved faster.

I drew blood on my kneecap. The blood actually seemed to boil from the cut.

"BOYS!!!!"

No answer....just more laughter.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOYS!!!" I screamed so loudly, I believe the neighbors ALL heard me.

Silence.

I could hear them slinking past the bathroom door.

"Sorry mom," I heard them whisper. They knew I had reached my breaking point.

As I tended to the wound on my leg, I thought about the upcoming school year. I wondered what girls would fall prey to my sons. I smiled and thought, "better them than me!"

9 comments:

Lisa (Jonnysmommy) said...

I was watching my son tonight as he bounced all over the house and me and I was thinking: "I have no idea what I'm going to do when he is older and acting like this."

Now I know......

Jennifer H said...

My son is calm compared to my daughter... but he will tease her endlessly. He just does it so I can't hear him, then when she reacts, it's like the sky is falling.

So I feel your pain. Including the razor nick. (Sometimes all you want outta life is both legs shaved at once!)

Michele Renee said...

For some reason I just can't take the boys noise while I'm in the shower. I have been known to grab a towel and run out with shampoo everywhere to tell them to stop the noise. Thankfully it has not happened in a while. And my legs have less cuts.

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL@better them than me!!!

why is it things always happen when your in the shower???
This happens at my house too

Baloney said...

Gosh. Couldn't it wait until you got on the phone?

Patois said...

Bloody kids.

The Fritz Facts said...

Much better than you!

But, I do have to say that Boo can make MORE noise than her brother. She is a loud girl. But, she isn't anywhere near as hands-on-goof around loud as he is.

Michele said...

LOL, mine are 2 & 4 and it has already begun... non stop!

Bonnie the Boss said...

I thought it was just me! what a relief! with 4 boys and 1 man in the house the tomfoolery NEVER stops! I am constantly telling one of them to knock it off!