Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Guess In This Economy....Sex Is The First Thing To Go

When I sign on to AOL in the mornings, to check my email, I always take a quick glance at the news headlines. Usually the news is grim. This morning was no different. There was talk of the Craigslist Killer, of Solar Storms, and of TWO American Idol hopefuls going home.

There was also talk about the economy of the world. The reality of the matter finally hit me. The world is in dire straits. People are cutting back on their money-for-sex habits! Say it isn't so!!

In Germany, where prostitution is legal, brothels have had to create their own stimulus packages to lure customers back.

Here are some of the highlights of the article (with a few of my own thoughts thrown in for good measure):
Some brothels have cut prices or added free promotions (All you can eat Tuesdays?) while others have introduced all-inclusive (Exactly what does all-inclusive..well, INCLUDE?) flat-rate fees. Free shuttle buses (that's a plus), discounts for seniors (I'd like the Senior Citizen discount, please) and taxi drivers (how did they decide on taxi drivers as opposed to say, trash collectors?), as well as "day passes" (do they get their hand stamped if they leave so they can get back "in"?) are among marketing strategies designed to keep business going.

Berlin's "Pussy Club" has attracted media attention with its headline-grabbing "flat rate" -- a 70-euro admission charge for unlimited food, drink and sex between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m (Isn't that when most people work? Maybe that's the problem, they need some night hours for the ones with the money!). "Our offer might sound like it's too good to be true, but it's real. You can eat as much as you want (giggle), drink as much as you want and have as much sex as you want." (WHAT A DEAL!) said club manager Stefan, who requested his surname not be published (Of course, he wouldn't want you to think poorly of him).

The manager of the "GeizHaus," said the effects of the economic crisis were clear. "The regular customers who used to come by two or three times a week are only coming by once or twice a week now." (Oh those poor men, they've had to resort to DIY!)

A prostitute in Berlin said "Just about every one's turning to advertising in one form or another,". (Maybe they can start blogging and run ads on their sites!) "If the consumer electronics shop and the optician come out with rebates and special promotions, why shouldn't we try the same thing?" (YOU GO GIRL!) She is worried, however, that the crisis has led to "price dumping". (How immoral!) "You'll find a lot of customers trying to negotiate prices down now, a 30-year-old came up to me and said 'I lost my job so will you give me a discount?'." (How dare he! Listen guy, she works hard for the money! So hard for it honey!)

Some are alarmed that amateur prostitutes -- mostly women with low-paid careers (you know, those lower class people)-- were increasingly turning to prostitution to make ends meet. "More and more women are moonlighting on the weekends," one said. (What about the prostitutes? How do they supplement their dwindling incomes? How do they moonlight?)
Well, AOL can help you there ladies! I think it's no coincidence that they also highlighted the article "7 Great Side Jobs for Extra Cash" today.
  1. Dog Walker- (I'm not touching that subject)
  2. Handy(wo)man- (Don't forget your tools)
  3. Medical Transcription- (Just be prepared to take a skills test)
  4. Wills/Medical Power of Attorney- (For all of you Lawyer/Prostitutes)
  5. Income Tax Preparer- (Do prostitutes PAY taxes?)
  6. Teach a Hobby- (You could have a class for all of those amateurs!)
  7. Babysitting- (Most kids have dads...this could be a win-win situation!)
Now, I don't promote selling yourself for money, but I am a true believer in "to each her own". If it works for you, so be it. I hope the economy turns around....for every one's sake.


Tricia said...

Sex and alcohol...always the last industries to hit economic turmoil...I'm worried now.

The Fritz Facts said...

I swear...only you would find this article! lol

Bonnie the Boss said...

So so sad for them. Maybe we need to start a foundation, you know to give them the support they need. Whatever! It may be the oldest profession, but maybe not the best career choice.

Jen said...

Odd, I am a big supporter of legalized prostitution* and I never thought but I never thought about the impact the economy might be having on sex workers. I wonder if strip clubs are having the same problem.

*Or if it's going to kept illegal I wish it was the pimps and johns that were targeted for punishment and not the women who are very often victims of horrible circumstances before they ever turn to prostitution.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I think I could get away with using the economic downturn as an excuse for less sex with my husband...good idea.

Anonymous said...

Heh, I happened to see (and read) that same article...what does that mean?

Lala's world said...

where do you find this stuff! so funny!

Bee and Rose said...

This is hilarious! Your comments were the! I guess old Justin Timberlake better be getting everyone's sexy back and fast! lol!

Megryansmom said...

Day passes? Like Disney hopper passes? Hop from brothel to brothel, or go back to your hotel and take a nap while he lines dwindle down?