Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Need A Clone Machine

Got one?

It's been a whole week since I wrote my last fluff for you. You really deserve better. That post blew. (Yes, that pun WAS intended. Bada Ba Ching. Thanks folks, I'll be here all week.)

I've been running around lately like a chicken with no head. I'm ALWAYS busy doing something, yet I feel like I get NOTHING accomplished.

I need to duplicate myself.

Clone #1 can clean the house. I mean actually CLEAN it. Not just de-clutter and hope that people don't see the mounds of dust and dirt. And definitely not the pee on the toilet seat because if my boys don't learn how to aim....I'm gonna.....

Clone #2 can work on the PTA chance auction. It's tomorrow night and this week has been nuts with trying to finalize details.

Clone #3 can sift through the mounds of paperwork and bills on my desk. They can actually pay some of the bills too, perhaps BEFORE the due date.

Clone #4 can go out and get a job to pay said bills.

Clone #5 can start a boot camp for my disruptive and disrespectful spawn.

Clone #6 can um.....take care of the hubs.

Clone #7 can take the dog out every two seconds because that's how often she scratches on the door. And because the backyard is now a mound of dirt and grass seed, she needs to actually be walked, not just thrown out the door.

Clone #8 can answer the phone calls from mom, my mother-in-law, and solicitors.

Clone #9 can do all the miscellaneous stuff like; paint all of the rooms, pull up the rugs, sand and stain the hardwood floors, plant a vegetable garden, plant flowers, paint the railing, power wash the fence, vacuum out my car, wash my car, organize a garage sale, organize the summer block party, grocery shop, oh and get me a pedicure.

Clone #10 can write on this blog. She'd better be funny too because the REAL me, well, kinda sucks right now.

Maybe I'll check Craigslist for that machine. Now that they caught that guy and all.


Jill said...

Man, I think Clone #9 gets the short end of the stick in that plan.

Glad to know I'm not the only one with bill paying on time issues. Hate that!!

The Fritz Facts said...

Bills have to get paid...on time?? When did this start?

You are not alone my dear! I am glad that I didn't agree to coach Boo's baseball team this year, that would make thigns 10x worse~

Stacie's Madness said...


Momo Fali said...

I would like to order a #9, please. RUSH delivery.

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

Do you need a Clone # 11 to rest at all? I would like a clone too. That stuff about the Hubs..yeah, my Clone # whatever could stay up late for when he gets home instead of crashing hard and fast asleep before he ever pulls in the driveway around midnight every night after work. *sigh*

Megryansmom said...

I could use those clones too, so that the real me could sit around all day and eat bon bons!

Midwest Mommy said...

I will apply for Clone #10 only I don't think my resume qualifies me for anything else, lol

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

What a smashing idea! And the original can lie in the hammock out back with a mojito and good book.

EE said...

I'm totally with you!!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

what about the grocery shopping? I hate that!

And while the clones are busy you can come and visit me and massage my feet.


Tricia said...

Please let me know when you find that cloning machine, and in the meantime, I'm wishing you some R&R.

Patois said...

What, in fact, will the original you be doing? Which of those clones will you eliminate? (Please don't pick a bad one!)

Lala's world said...

man when they invent that machine I want one!! I am not a polligamist (sp?) but I sure get the logic behind having multiple women running the house!!!