Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What Is A Mom To Do?

No matter what happens in the Schmitty house, I try to find a little humor in most situations. If not for my own sanity, it at least makes for decent blog fodder.

But yesterday, as hard as I tried, I couldn't find an ounce of amusement anywhere. Not one stinking speck.

So my friends, if you are looking for a laugh today, please move on because you aren't going to find it here.

Here goes:

I won't talk about the first half of the day, as that would take a REALLY long time. I'll save that for another time as it is totally irrelevant to this post anyway.

Instead, I will begin at about 3:00 pm.

W. got off the bus. I could tell from his obnoxious behavior that he was in a less than cooperative mood. He can have a tendency to not know when to stop. He thinks he's being funny, but in reality he's being highly annoying and when in public, quite embarrassing. And to make a long story short, because I really don't want to rehash the entire night, he then proceeded to take a five hour long meltdown.


He couldn't focus on his homework. He was all over the place. He was defiant, nasty, and out of control. I got so pissed I had to leave the house and go for a ten minute drive to cool off. It was either do that or throw him in the bath, clothes and all, to cool him off in an ice cold shower. Which at one point, I came quite close to doing.

The night finally ended with Mr. Schmitty shipping him off to bed at 9:00 pm and telling him that he better get sleep because he would be getting up at 5:00 am to finish his homework.

W. has been in this frame of mind A LOT lately. Unfortunately, since he's been small, it's been a way of life with him. He'll have bouts of this behavior from time to time. As a matter of fact, I went back through my archives to see if I had touched on this subject before. March is apparently "the month". I could basically copy and paste that post here.

Could his behavior stem from his health history and his heart defect? The frustrating thing is, no one knows. It could. He does not have A.D.H.D. according to everyone we have spoken to. He does, however, at times, have those symptoms. They just seem to crop up out of nowhere.

I used to think that he just had an attitude problem and that, combined with his immaturity, caused him to act out. But we noticed about a year ago, that when he is going through these periods, his eyes dilate. It's clearly evident and the first thing we look for now. Of course, the doctors have no clue as to why this happens. All we know is that the behavior and the eyes go hand in hand. So seeing a physical manifestation makes me think it's more than just his demeanor.

So, can he help himself? Is this something he and the rest of us have to live with? I don't know. The doctors don't know. It's frustrating as hell. My nerves are shot and I'm emotionally drained today.

Is 8:00 am too early for a drink?


Jen said...

OH, hugs! I know exactly how tough this is. My son has Aspergers (I am NOT saying your son does, I'm just saying it as a point of reference) and while he doesn't have ADHD he does have some of it's symptoms. He too will have the all night melt-downs. The weird thing is that his eyes dilate too when he's like that. It's so weird to hear you say that happens to you son because everyone else I've ever told that to says they've never heard of that.

Maybe March is tough because of the weather? Maybe the start of warm weather throws him off? I know it does with my son. This week is spring break and I have a suspicion that before this week is done one of us will be living in the garage!

TheOtherJennifer said...

Daylight savings time?

And no, 8am is not too early.

The Fritz Facts said...

Oh hun!! I am so sorry your week has started out rough.

I have heard from a few people that the change of season's affect their child, so maybe that is something to look at.

Hunter doesn't have melt downs, but he has such defiance that he will spend weeks in the dog house, not caring about anything. He hates being wrong, and that will cause fights and then moping for DAYS. It is not a fun time, but we have been battling it for years.

I hope today is a better day!!

kristi said...

Sounds like our days most days. My son is Autistic.

Stacie said...

HUGS...I have no answers!

I do know the frustration...

it's five o'clock somewhere sweetie, drink away. ;)

Midwest Mommy said...

BG had a huge meltdown on Monday. I feel for you.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Ispent years trying to cope with problems my daughter had and they kept saying it was ADHD and I kept saying it was more. things did get better as she got older. hang in there mama.

Anonymous said...

I can so relate. I would swear it has something to do with the weather. When its cold outside and they are inside playing quietly, no problems. As soon as the weather perks up and the time changes, it's like having a totally different child.

Like Stacie said, it's 5 o'clock somewhere...I'll have one with you.

Maria said...

I am wondering about food allergies (I accidentally wrote "fool allergies" there and that gave me food for thought...)

Does he eat at school or do you pack him a lunch? If his eyes are dilated, there is a reason behind it. Take his temp when you see his eyes dilate. Does he have a rash anywhere?

Maybe it is something as simple as too many a classmate has a birthday and brings cupcakes, etc.? Maybe too much sugar?

Zephra said...

Hmmm. That is very interesting. I noticed that when Sara has a bad ADHD day, her eyes change too. No dialation that I can not though honestly, I didn't look for that. She gets more of a shifty, deer in head light, can't focus on anything look. I will be watching her closely next time.

Patois said...

I'm sorry. I hope today is a much better day for him -- and so for the rest of you as well.

Megryansmom said...

You need a drink and hug. Cheers

Tiddly Inks said...

I agree with Maria...checking for food allergies might be a great idea. I have heard a lot of kids do not do well with some dyes or even something as common as wheat. It can lead to ADHD symptons (teacher here) and that isn't fun for anyone.

Dunno though...Keep your chin up though. Just remind yourself that the long-term is your goal...20 years from now.
Yeah, it doesn't work well for me either. LOL Just trying for an upbeat approach. It will be better in a few days...months...okay, years. :)

Mrs4444 said...

Hmmm. I wonder if it might be a sensory thing? I mean that sensory intervention might help? You could check out resources offered on sites related to Aspergers (again, not saying he has Aspergers, but sensory stuff is big on that topic.) You could have him evaluated by an occupational therapist for sensory needs. There are probably surveys on line that you could look up to help evaluate sensory needs....just a thought.

Vster88 said...

Maybe it's the change of weather? But if it's affecting his pupils, I'd think maybe something with his brain? Like how trauma doctors check pupil reactivity to see if there's any possible brain damage?

I hope he's okay.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

it's never too early for a drink.

Momo Fali said...

Go ahead and have a drink. You deserve one.

It certainly sounds physical. My son always acts out when he's not hearing well...when he's due for an ear cleaning. The day after the wax is removed, he's like a new kid.

Janis said...

My dd has ADHD and has days like that too. I can feel when she's going on me...more defiance, the LOOK in her eyes (I'm going to watch for dilation now! lmao). The other day I had to DRAG her across the playground infront of all the Kindy parents at school to the van with her screaming and crying the entire way. NOT my idea of fun but she had crossed the LINE. I have come to a new level of patience with her but it can vary of it's abundance depending on the moment in As Dory would say "Just keep Swimming!" lol

Mommy Cracked said...

I am so sorry y'all have had such a bad time of things lately. and I wish I had some helpful answers. my little guy is only 4 and has sensory processing disorder which brings on episodes like this around our home occasionally.

Chris said...

I did some googling and found that adrenaline rushes cause eye dilation. If he's throwing fits, he's surely having adrenaline rushes (you'd think) Other sites said it's part of the "fight or flight" reaction.

I don't think I'd get too worried. And Kudos to you for knowing when you needed a time out. =D Hang in there. March is almost over.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I am so sorry. I have no suggestion of help. But you do have a big hug coming your way! Maybe the rise and fall of the air pressure has something to do with it. It effects the brain.

Justice Jonesie said...

This is tough. I hope everything is okay now. Hopefully this will pass soon.