Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I'll Be Setting My DVR To Record This Daily

Last night the kids and I were hanging out in front of the tv. As usual, they were bickering over who was going to sit next to me. When you have three kids, there is always one that feels left out of climbing up my ass the snuggling.

R. was the last to join the group, so I tried to explain to her that this time she'd have to sit next to one of her brothers instead.

She went batshit.

I've explained her anger management issues in the past. As she is getting older, her episodes have decreased in frequency, but from time to time she will resort back to Linda Blair style head spinning violence inappropriate behavior. She just gets so frustrated and can't seem to find the words to express herself. Instead she'll resort to hitting, kicking, and throwing things.

After I picked her flailing body up, as she was trying to beat the crap out of her brothers, I placed her in timeout.

She proceeded to yell at me, with all of the attitude of a teenager, that she was NOT staying in timeout. I saw my future flash before my eyes. I am truly screwed in about ten years.

After a while, she finally calmed down and apologized. She then asked T., in her sweetest voice, if she could sit next to me. He, being the epitome of a middle child people pleaser, said yes.

All was quiet again and we went back to watching the tube. I flipped through a few channels and came across Nanny 911. There on the screen was a beautiful cherub of a girl, completely freaking out in pure R. fashion.

I looked at my daughter. She was wide-eyed with a total look of shock on her face. "Mamma, why is that girl doing that to her mommy?"

"What's the matter, don't you think she should?" I asked, as I tried not to chuckle.

"NO! That's bad!"

"Well, that's how you looked about ten minutes ago."

She sat and thought for a second. "But she is kicking and hitting!" She said, as though her own actions were a figment of my imagination.

"Yes, she is. And isn't that what you were doing?"

Again, she silently pondered my question. She then cuddled in tighter against me and watched as the girl responded to the Nanny's discipline.

When the show was over, R. proclaimed, "Now she's a good girl!" She was completely overjoyed that this story had a happy ending.

I then told my three kids to go upstairs and get ready for bed. Normally, in my house, when I say this, the Schmitty Kids hear, "Go upstairs and run amok and get as wild as you possibly can!"

But tonight, one by one, they brushed their teeth for more than two seconds, they peed in the toilet (my boys have extremely poor aim), and got right under the covers. There was no pushing and shoving. No charging through the rooms. No bouncing off the walls. No mom screaming at the top of her lungs to knock it off.

There was peace.

I dropped to my knees, clasped my hands together, and professed my eternal gratitude to the Nanny.


Jill said...

That is sheer brilliance!! I may have to add Nanny 911 to my DVR too!!

Stacie said... kids and I have the same conversations when we watch Nanny 911

One time my daughter even went on for an hour about how much she thinks nanny can help me with MY problems. ;)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

sounds like mandatory Nanny watching from this day forward.

Chris said...

Seriously! Been there! Done that! From start to finish.

Sometimes I think I should turn on the camera for 1 day and then let the kids see how they behaved. I'm sure they'd swear I somehow rigged the video and it's not really them. LOL

Patois said...

I've heard of the show, but I've not seen it. Perhaps my demonic youngest and I should start watching, together-like.

Midwest Mommy said...

OMG, that is great! I have to remember this for when the kids get older.
When I was a teacher I use to tell my first graders that I would see random kids throwing tantrums in the stores and then I would act out what I saw. We would have a big discussion on better ways to get your wants/needs communicated with adults. After seeing me act out what a tantrum looked like they said they weren't going to do it again because I might be in the store and see them, lol! Parents were happy :-)

River said...

There's nothing like seeing your own behaviour to make you think twice about how you've been acting.

Bee and Rose said...

My kids need a dose of Nanny 911!

The Fritz Facts said...

Thanks goodness for Nanny 911!! I would get the DVR set too.

Super B's Mom said...

Are you serious?

I must try this. This morning after I told B (for the fifty-eleventh time) to go brush his hair, I heard him mumble, "You need to fix YOUR hair."

What the?!

Anonymous said...

Heh, if only there was an "adult nanny" to deal with cranky moms and dads, huh?

Bonnie the Boss said...

"Go upstairs and run amok and be as wild as you can".... that happens here too. Maybe I needto watch more Nanny!

Anonymous said...

I just absolutely adore Nanny 911! I always wish it were my kids on the screen. They (my boys) don't even pay attention when I have it on. Maybe I should hog tie them to the chair and MAKE them watch it...

Tiddly Inks said...

Does it come out on DVD or maybe You Tube???? Gotta find it! LOL

Mrs4444 said...

That is awesome. I love that she saw herself in that show. The next time she starts to throw a fit, you can say, "WWND?!"