Thursday, March 26, 2009

Heads And An Arm Are Gonna Roll!

Do you remember the infamous Brady Bunch episode that involved Peter breaking his mother's favorite vase? After he had been told numerous times NOT TO PLAY BALL IN THE HOUSE, he lost control of his basketball and SMASH! The vase shattered. He glued the vase together, which, of course, didn't hold up once water was placed into said vase. Dumb ass! And in true Brady fashion, ALL of the children confessed to breaking it. They just couldn't bear the thought of their dear brother missing out on his camping trip.

Can I get a big, "Awwwwwww?"

Now, fast forward about thirty years to my dysfunctional lovely home. The actual concept is the same, however, the basketball is a pink Disney Princess ball, the vase is a collectible figurine, and there are three children involved, not 6 heaven forbid.

I collect Willow Tree statues. Each figure looks as though it has been hand carved from wood to resemble a family in endearing life moments. I love them. And the thought of endearing life moments. sigh.

My kids? Well they seem to LOVE breaking them. W. broke two last year, which I just recently replaced. So, when I heard the crash upstairs, I knew immediately.

Now, unlike the martyr children of Brady Bunch fame, my kids can't wait to rat out squeal like pigs tattle on each other. Before I could investigate the sound of resin hitting the hardwood floor, the boys were already falling over each other, as they bound down the stairs. Each was trying to be the first to inform me of who was to blame for the latest figurine fatality.

"Mom, MOM!! R. broke your statue!! MOOOOOOOMMMM!" They shouted in unison.

And then W. handed me this:

Kind of creepy when they are dismembered, I must say. And the kicker? The title of this one is "A Child's Touch".

Yea, the Schmitty Kids all have the touch of a bull in a China shop. Heh.


The Fritz Facts said...

That is a little creepy...

That Brady Bunch episode is one of my favorites. The Cheesy factor is huge in that one.

So what did you do...don't leave us hanging like that!

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I collect Willow Tree figurines too. Mine are wayyyyyy up high on a shelf.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I see a sitcom coming...

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

I actually could probably quote you every stinkin' Brady Bunch episode ever made.

Yah, I grew up in front of television and turned out okay, sorta.

Anyhow, this is exactly why I invest in tons and tons of Crazy Glue.

Or, don't buy any real pretty thing.

Disclaimer: I'm the one who breaks things at our house!

So, what DID you do?

Laura said...

oh my - I gasped, yelped and even chocked back a bad swear word!!!

ya know, we cannot make this stuff up....WOW.

kristi said...

I have one of these, I love them!! My kids tear up a lot makes me soooooooo mad.

Baloney said...

I say leave it out -- JUST LIKE THAT.
Great conversational piece!

Jill said...

Aw man! That stinks. I have a few of those figurines -- in my dining room cabinet behind glass. And I also have the nativity set (a wedding gift). They do break easily. One of the sheep in my nativity set is missing a leg, the poor little thing, so I have to prop him up next to Joseph or a wiseman or something. Maybe you should keep this latest piece of carnage as is and take it out to let the kids know when you're in the kind of mood where they don't want to mess with you. Something like, "You've already caused me to lose my head, so unless you want to end up like the kid in this figurine, I suggest you straighten up!" haha

Stacie said...

omg, decapitated.

yeah, my kids are no bradys either...they KILL to tell on each other.

Lainey-Paney said...

OK, I'm laughing about the irony of the title of the broken statue.

I love it!!!!
You need to put it in some kind of shadow box frame, with all its little broken pieces, and prominently display the title.

I'd crack up if I came to your house & saw it that way!

Patois said...

I think you could display the remnants in such a way as to be a reminder as to what happens to naughty children.

Michele said...

LOL Okay so I did not laugh until the name of the figure. My mom collects those two, I love them they're cute. I'm sorry yours keep getting broken. =(

Bonnie the Boss said...

The irony...... I have had to ake all my kids sit in time-out to fess up to rap around here. I hope you get another soon.