Monday, December 22, 2008

I've Got Competition

I'm not going to take this lightly. It seems that a certain female is trying to come between Mr. Schmitty and I.

A younger, fairer haired charmer wants my man all to herself. I've found strands of her soft locks on his clothing. I have witnessed first hand the way she looks at him; with those pleading, sad brown eyes of hers.

Her feelings are so blatantly obvious. Even a stranger can't mistake the hold my husband has over her. She becomes openly upset when he leaves her presence. And comes alive again upon his return.

I've never doubted my husband's loyalty. I have known for over sixteen years that I am his only true love.

However, lately, I'm not so sure.

He seems to spend more and more time with her. Doing so has only strengthened her desire to be with him. Where ever he is, she is never too far behind; like a stalker in heat.

The fighter is me is drawing the line in the sand and laying down the law.

No more jumping into my seat the second I get up, just so you can snuggle up next to him. No more lying on his dirty shirts, only to growl at me when I need to do laundry. No more sitting at his feet and whining at me because he is giving me a back rub and not paying attention to you. And I get to say hello first when he comes home from work!

Now back off Ruby, he's mine, BITCH!

12 comments:

Sabrae Carter said...

LMAO!!!!! I feel the same way about our new puppy! lol He is stuck up the wifes butt all the time and gets soooo jelous of me! lol

Queen-Size funny bone said...

My husband talks more to the puppies than he does me.

aeneadellaluna said...

ohhh what a cute puppyyyyyyyyy!

Justice Jonesie said...

At first I thought you were talking about your daughter, hahahah!

Laura said...

At least she is a cute bitch!

Momo Fali said...

Uh oh! Look out Ruby! I think she means business.

Patois said...

Hey, with opposable thumbs, I'm betting you're a shoo-in to win this dog fight.

Christina said...

LMAO!! I have the same problem. It cracks me up when she shoots dirty looks at me while he pets her or while she lays next to him on the bed.

EE said...

LOL! You crack me up!!

meleah rebeccah said...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and "All That Jazz" to you and your family!

Karly said...

Thought for sure you were talking about your daughter! :)

Hope y'all are having a Merry Christmas!

Dawn said...

LOL.... I just knew it was a dog!

I love the way you write. :)