Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Those That Shall Remain Nameless

Do you know what I hate about my blog? I hate that many times I can't find a topic to write about. Actually, scratch that. I have TONS and TONS of topics to write about, I just don't.

Want to know why? Because I'm a nice person, dammit.

I write at the expense of my dear Mr. Schmitty and my three beautiful children. I post about my yappy dog. I even poke fun at myself, on occasion. But I'm allowed to diss my family. Mr. Schmitty is fair game because believe me, he isn't exactly an angel himself. He hands it to me quite often enough. My dog, well, she's just a dog. And considering the hell I went through to conceive and birth my children, well, it's my entitlement to mess with them and tell the world about it. Right?!

My loyal readers seem to enjoy those posts. I've been told from time to time that I have indeed gotten a giggle, if not a full blown soda-out-the-nose-snort, from one of my tales.

But I have to admit, my friends, that you are being jilted. I have so much more to give you. I just can't.

Yea, that niceness thing again.

Much to my chagrin, I'm surrounded by great material. Material that is doing me absolutely no good, because I have to actually SEE these people. I have to interact with them and play, yes, NICE.

There are so many people in my life that are just tempting me. Those bastards. They are dangling that proverbial carrot right in front of me. It's hanging there, all orange and fresh, beckoning me to pounce on it. But I resist.

BECAUSE.I'M.NICE!

Many of these juicy stories come from people I may have to deal with for the rest of my life. There is a plethora of hilarious (at least to me) incidents, moments, and observations that I'm just aching to put into words on this blog.

BUT.I.AM.TOO.FREAKING.NICE!

I'm just busting at the seams with their priceless drama, so much so, that it just makes my head spin. And I just hate the fact, that I can't share my sitcom of a life with you, because I believe you would truly pee yourself laughing.

Yes, some of them are THAT entertaining.

I hope someday that I will grow a set. Or they will piss me off one too many times. Or someone will offer me big dough to write a book or something. Because then? All bets are off.

Until then, Mrs. Too Freaking Nice (aka...Mrs. Wimp-ass) is signing off.

14 comments:

The Fritz Facts said...

I am in the same boat! There are so many topics I could write about, but I am a better person than others that write about things they shouldn't...personal experience. Good for you...even though it sucks.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Do a guest blog.
Anonymously.
Make the commenters guess who you are.
Change the names of those you are dissing.
Award prizes to the guessers.

Leslie said...

Oh, the things I could write! I know! I know.

Laura said...

I like that you are nice...and funny...and wonderful...and fun to read....but I like juicy stories too....please push out of your comfort level...tell us more!!!!!!

Leigh said...

Dang! I so want to hear!!!!


I am the same way though....there are some juicy tales Id love to tell from girls nights, things that go on, but I'd hate for it to be used for blackmail. BUt there is a bevvy of stories in those gatherings.


Ok, post, I 'm with J'ollie P- anon (but let us know.)

Zephra said...

Maybe it is time for a new secret blog...I am dying to know.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I understand! If you notice I wrote about a neighbor of mine the other day and then took it off because I didn't want to cause problems.
I hate being nice sometimes.

kristi said...

That is why I have 2 blogs. So I can write about my crazy ass family!

SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said...

Oh, I can SO relate! I've been thinking the same thing lately...and it's not just family members either, it's those "untouchable" topics--you know, the ones that once you've crossed that line there's no going back and you know its all going to hit the fan. *sigh* I totally hear ya.

Lunasea said...

Dude. I'm a therapist. You gotta know it's killing me to keep all those fantastic stories confidential. But I have to. :::sigh:::

Kelley said...

What J'Ollie said.

Or start another blog called 'Not Mrs Schmitty even though it sounds like her life it is not where near like it and I don't even know the woman so shutup and leave me alone'

Sabrae said...

lol i must be mean then... becuz i blog about it no matter what!!! lol

beth said...

Wait until you get to be my age, as you will forget you're a nice person and diss someone, post it and only then does the 'nice thing' come back.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I totally know whatcha mean!