Thursday, November 06, 2008

A Riddle For You

Question: What do you get when you combine six children (ages 4, 5, 5, 7, 9, and 10. Two, of said children, have tummy aches and are pooping every 5 minutes and screaming for you to wipe their butts because they got into the Halloween candy, another one that wants to eat you out of house and home and keeps saying, "I'm hungry", one who is being a wise guy and highly obnoxious, and two that keep sneaking outside to use their new Heelys in the pouring rain), one mother-in-law (who is loved dearly, but is beginning to lose "it" a bit and has a tendency to tell drawn out stories from "back in the day" that you've heard a zillion and one times before and who is extremely paranoid about the kids being abducted and whose eyesight is so shot that she can't even see them when they are sitting in the chair next to her causing her to go into a full blown panic), and a yappy dog (that is going to have it's mouth duct taped shut very shortly if she doesn't SHUT.THE.HELL.UP because there really is no need to bark continuously at the leaf that is blowing around in the front yard)?

Answer: A partially bald mom who has suddenly acquired a right eye twitch, one who has an ungodly urge to start her own IV drip of vodka but can't because she already has a pounding migraine, which is a good thing because it's drowning out the voices that keep telling her to shove her head in the oven.

14 comments:

Cant Hardly Wait said...

I would have said "A darn good time", but your answer works, too.

I'm sorry you're going insane. =(

Sabrae said...

ahhh you poor thing! lol run far far away!!!! i tell you run run run!!! Hang in there down some sleeping pills and just sleep til you can't sleep anymore an make the hubby deal with it all! lol

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

A recipe for a one way ticket to the Bahamas!

Hang in there. I've got PMS so this post made both my eyes twitch.

Zephra said...

Soooo. I guess now I know what causes my headaches. Vodka drip you say? Hmmmm.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I've got some valium, do you want it? JK
I am so sorry, my vote is runaway, runaway fast and find a nice quiet......luxury hotel room.

The Fritz Facts said...

IV Drip sounds good to me. I am going to keep that in mind as the holidays get closer.

Super B's Mom said...

Oh gosh.....I am overwhelmed just reading that.

Bless your heart!

Tricia said...

You may want to reconsider that I.V.

Hope your weekend goes smoothly.

Day Dreamer said...

I can't stop laughing....

I know I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Still laughing tho.

I don't think the vodka IV mixes well with the oven plan. (!)

Maybe you should apply duct tape to mil and give HER the vodka IV!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I can come start the vodka IV for you, if you need me to. I'm generous like that.

georgie said...

ummmmm I only your question....and my answer would hafta be JOHN AND KATE PLUS EIGHT!!!! did I win Did I win????

Mrs4444 said...

We have a new favorite saying around here. It's best offered up in the middle of another conversation, dropped randomly (yet loudly), long and drawn out, Grandma-style, "Well-I'll-have-you-know....that-I-bought-a-new-pair-of-shoelaces. And-they-were-TOO-SMALL!" The story goes on, but we LOAO when Grandma interrupted a conversation to tell this story. Too funny!

Maria said...

I think you need to come out with me and have a good stiff drink.

Tiddly Inks said...

All I can say is: Thanks for the laugh...it is one of those days around here A LOT!!!