When the subject of "the things kids do" comes up, my mother always likes to tell the story of me destroying the bathroom walls. Apparently, when I was young, somewhere between the ages of 3 and 5, I got an idea. While sitting on the toilet, I began to pull the wallpaper off the walls. Not just small pieces, mind you, but entire panels.
I vaguely remember the act, though I am very clear on my father's reaction. What would possess me to do such a thing? Was I constipated and things were taking too long? Did I need a way to entertain myself? I certainly was too young to be reading the newspaper. What else was a kid to do?
Was I just an evil little shit that loved to get into trouble? Nah, that couldn't have been it, not with a father like I had.
Or was I just a bonehead? Because, really, what makes a kid decided, "Hey, let's strip this paper off the walls?"
A few days ago my daughter was sitting on the toilet. She had a pen in her hand and she was trying to write on a tissue. I handed her a notepad and told her to write on that so the pen didn't rip through the tissue and get on her leg.
She began to doodle on the paper and I told her to call me when she was finished. When I returned I found the notepad on the floor. I looked at my daughter and saw that she had completely covered her thighs in black ink.
She smirked at me and instantly I knew what possessed her; the devil in a pint-sized package. Her mischievous behavior I could totally understand because, well, that's my daughter in a nutshell.
But what was my son thinking last night? The kids had gone up to their rooms to get in bed and watch cartoons. Mr. Schmitty and I were in the living room catching up on some DVR'd shows.
T. came out of his room and asked, "What happens when you put water in your ear?"
Mr. Schmitty told him not to try it and to get back to bed. I knew better than to let something like that go.
"Why T.? Did you put something in your ear?" I asked.
He came down the stairs with that LOOK on his face, "Ummmm, no."
After a few minutes of a tug-of-war with words, crying, and denial, he finally admitted that he had put something in his ear. We placed him on the table and looked in. Sure enough, we could see something small and white, just inside the ear. It looked like a tiny, rubber stopper from the bottom of a toy.
After waiting in an emergency room for two hours, a doctor was able to pull the object out in seconds. Thankfully for T. there was minimal pain.
He told me that he learned his lesson and will NEVER put anything in his ears again. I asked him the question, "What possessed you to do that?"
He replied, "I don't know, I guess I was bored."
He forgot, to add "And I'm a bonehead!"
It appears that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.