Tuesday, July 01, 2008

What Goes Around Comes Around

Yesterday in the parking lot of the grocery store, an old, brown Bronco, driven by a young, twenty-something boy, passed by me. The windows were rolled down and the boy had his music blaring so loudly that you couldn't make out anything but the pounding bass. On the back window of the SUV were the written words, "Benny Go Home", in large painted letters. I walked away wondering two things. I wondered how many times the kid got his heiny beat because of his freedom of speech. I also wondered if the kid understood the meaning of "Benny" because he certainly wasn't being respectful of the locals with the way he was forcing us to listen to his tunes.

I live at the Jersey Shore, a beautiful area that is overrun with tourists in the summer. A lot of the summer guests rent homes for about three months out of the year. The season begins Memorial Day weekend and ends Labor Day weekend. For the people who live here all year round, those 12-13 weeks can be filled with some annoying encounters.

I am a pretty friendly person. But when I cross paths with an actual Benny, it is hard not to want to tell them to go home. I really have to bite my tongue sometimes.

For instance, last night Mr. Schmitty was working an all night, overtime shift and W. was sleeping at a friend's house. T. and R. were restless, so I decided to take them to McDonald's for dinner. When they were done eating they wanted, of course, to go into the Play Place.

While they were playing, I sat in a chair and watched them laugh and chase each other. I also watched, as a two year old boy stood on another chair, screamed for his mother, and smeared his tear-ridden snot all over the glass window. Where was Mom? She sat in the dining area. She smiled at him, waved, and continued to take turns chatting on her cell phone and then to another woman who was seated next to her eating an ice cream cone.

I also watched,as a six year old girl climbed up the play structure, and mooned the entire room. She was wearing a skirt, I would refer to as a hoochie skirt, if she had been older. It was about two sizes too small for the girl, as must have been her underwear, because that was up her butt like a thong.

The mother must have noticed the display of flesh because she suddenly appeared in the room and shouted in her NativeCityThatIWon'tMentionByNameButRymesWithYouFork accent, "Nina, get down and pull your panties out of your crack."

Nice.

She then picked up, the now slobbering two year old boy, off the chair and placed him on the floor. Oh fancy that, he's hers too. She plopped down on a bench and shooed him away so her friend could sit. She then began complaining about not being able to find competent cleaning ladies in this town. She then turned to a Mexican woman, who was sitting next to me, and asked her if she cleaned houses.

OH.YES.SHE.DID!

I couldn't take anymore. I called for T. and R. to get their shoes. As I was strapping R.'s sandals, I heard the obnoxious voice again. She was now standing and looking down at her feet. Her son had puked on her freshly painted pedicure.

Karma, baby!

13 comments:

Jen said...

She actually asked the woman if she cleaned houses?!? OMG. People never cease to amaze me.

Shelli said...

... how did I not know we are both from the Garden State??

I live just off the AC Expressway (Shoobies here)... this time of year makes me want to pull my hair out with all those PA/NY plates clogging my rural roads to escape paying a freaking toll... lol

Momo Fali said...

I love a good turf war story! Go get those Bennys!

Suzanne's Blog, Jane's Blog said...

Some people just don't get it. I hope you were as happy about the child tossing his cookies on her feet, because I was very happy to read about it. I am from NY so what is a Benny? Oh I came over from the mom bloggers (jane's Blog)

Bonnie the Boss said...

I can't believe she said that to the mexican lady.
Puke on her shoes! Karma got it right this time.

The Fritz Facts said...

Karma is wonderful. Puke is always a great payback.

kristi said...

Oh no...wait til' her kids get older, they will act just like her. Not good.

meleah rebeccah said...

classic Instant Karma. I just love when I get to witness someone getting what they deserve!!

Kelley said...

seriously? She did that? Man, that is hysterical! Oh I hope the other woman gave her a withering stare and that kid puked in her handbag.

Queen Goob said...

OH. NO. SHE. DID. NOT. And where was she from? Blue Dork? LOL I agree with ya - karma, baby, karma!

Ann said...

Yes!!!
Love instant karma!
Thanks for the post, I've learned a lot.

Sugar said...

We live in a coastal community of San Diego. Every summer, we ready ourselves for the eventual takeover of our beautiful beaches. While I understand that our cities get revenue from these lovely vistors, I sure wish there was some way we could avoid all the hassles. Like the wall of parked campers that show up before the crack of dawn blocking any view of the water. Or the women with handbags and hose walking five across while we locals just try to get our morning run in. Weekends at the beach from May to September are to be avoided, that's for sure.

EE said...

No freaking way! She'll never get it...