Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Go Home!

Dear Bitch Lady,

I am writing this letter to you on my blog for I am unable to send it anywhere else. I could not catch up with you the other day, for if I had I am sure that I could have
beaten the information out of you asked for your address.

I want to thank you for the unbelievably idiotic thing you did incident that took place. You brought out the raving lunatic best in me. And you did so in front of my children and husband. Yes, I am so wanting to pound in your nose grateful to you for allowing them to see their mother turn into a roaring animal. But you see, like a mother lion, the claws will come out if my young are in danger.

Were you in that much of a hurry to get to Costco? I believe it was only noon, that, I'm sure, still gave you enough time to buy your tampons. I'm sure that's the reason behind your moronic foolish behavior.

Maybe that wasn't your reasoning. Perhaps you saw a family of five in the road and were playing that game. You know, the one where you accumulate points for running something over. What were we worth? Two points for each adult, 3 for the boys, and that cute little girl, she had to be at least 5.

When I saw you speeding through the parking lot, I began to hurry everyone up across the road. But before I could even finish my sentence, you were practically on us. You were looking straight at us you crazy freaking loon. You weren't even slowing down.

If my children were not with me, I would have stood my ground, daring you to hit me. Instead, once I knew my children were safe, I turned and lost it. I screamed at you, just hoping you might stop. Bring it on sister! The part of me that hopes all people are good, wanted you to apologize and even give me a lame excuse for why you almost killed us. But I should know better. Instead, you drove away and flipped me off. I then noticed your license plate. It figures. You are here for the summer.

I am getting really sick and tired of you out of state people that come here for the summers. Everywhere I turn I see your license plates. None of you have any courtesy or manners. You invade this beautiful area like picnic ants. I wish you would all just go back from whence you came.

So you poor excuse for a human being lady, I would consider yourself happy to be breathing lucky, back in the day, I would have tore you limb from limb followed you. God help you when I got a hold of you. But I'm a mom now. My cubs were safe.

Enjoy your day, because if I see you again, well, just enjoy your day.

Mrs. Schmitty

Whew! *wipes sweat from brow* Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.


For the Love... said...

I would have been arrested. She would have a hole in her rear window. I hate when people do crap like that....

Lainey-Paney said...

I'm about ready to start posting license plate numbers on my blog for people like that. Hateful-ass drivers who almost run over my family...yeah, they'd get posted!

Makes you think about that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes, where the Kathy Bates character rams the younger girls car & says, "I'm older & I have more insurance."
Ahhh...wouldn't that have felt good???

Paulette Foley said...

My mind went to the same place as Lainey-paney's..."COWABUNGA!" (or whatever that phrase was she uses in the movie)

More and more people just seem to be worried about themselves and where they are going and whether or not they will get the best parking spot...

I'm with you!

Zephra said...

I would have gotten her license plate and found out who she was...and haunted her.

Annie said...

How horrible!

We have the reverse problem - we get the crazy drivers in the winter - most of whom are very elderly and can barely see over the dashboard!

Anonymous said...

I agree - I'd seriously consider posting license plate numbers.

I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe stupid drivers. One of my PET peeves.

Glad you guys are all ok.

EE said...

That's scary! I'm glad you guys are ok.
I was pushing my niece in a stroller at the crossing area of the zoo, and was almost hit by a speeding El Camino. My sister went ape-shit!

EE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
One Tough Momma said...

I say go Old School on her ass! I've got your back sista!

Justice Fergie said...

oooo honey!

i got all hot and angry just from READING your letter!

good for you for keeping your cool. not to worry - she'll get hers soon enough. "let go and let God" right?

and, lucky for you, summer's almost over :)

glad everyone is safe.

Elle said...

OMG some people are just assholes aren't they? sorry you had an encounter with the motorist from hell.

mcewen said...

Some people!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Ouch. I had one like that when #1 was barely walking. I yelled through her open window at her and she actually chased me down in the parking lot and justified the fact that she'd almost run me over by telling me that she'd done it to keep some invisible person from hitting her and scratching her precious back bumper.

I stared at her in shock. Like that was worth almost running me over for?

And then she told me, in a voice FULL of righteous indignity, that I needed to watch my language.

Umm. Hello? YOU almost ran ME over, lady. Did you miss that part somehow?

kristi said...

Oh no she didn't! I would have yelled at her too. I get pissed at people in the grocery store who almost run over my kids with their carts!

meleah rebeccah said...

Funny post!~ Sorry that a crazy lady almost ran you down. People have no courtesy anymore. Its a shame.


I'd like to buy the world a lithium...c'mon, everybody sing with me...

Funny I should see this post today, I just got back from our local pool and went up to my room to sit quietly and read blogs to unwind (my new form of meditation).

Some guy actually threatened my husband and cursed at him repeatedly in front of my 7 year old.
I went over to tell him to lower his voice and to not curse in front of kids and he let loose on me. (Ok, I may have called him a piece of shit).

Here's the beauty of it. Enough people witnessed his explosion that I realized that if I gave him enough rope he'd hang himself with it.

As I left the pool one of the staff members whispered to me that he was going to be banned from returning again. Sometimes people do get what they deserve.

CakeHead said...

Omgosh! I get so angry when people pull that crap. Seems they missed the part of driver's ed that explicitly states the pedestrian ALWAYS has the right away.

One day I was walking through the parking lot at Target, mindful of the car that was approaching (I was on the side of the road), because I needed to cross. I waited for her to pass before crossing, but as soon as she passed, the wench threw her car in reverse and started backing up without looking. She didn't hit me but proceeded to chew me out because *I* shouldn't be walking behind cars. I asked her if a better option was for me to walk in front of her nice little car and let her hit me so I could sue the crap out of her whiney hiney (Thank goodness my son wasn't there because I would have likely smacked her).

She wasn't from around here either.