Monday, May 19, 2008

I Did Giggle, Just A Little

But I just couldn't help it. It's in my nature.

Did you hear...chuckle... about the Lifetouch Studios...hee hee... incident at McKinney High School in Texas? Snort. Ahem. Sorry. I feel really...giggle, sniff....badly.

Based out of Minnesota, Lifetouch, or Retouch as they should now be named, provides portraits and yearbooks for schools nationwide. Seems they've got a closet Photoshopper in their midst.

One with a sick, twisted sense of humor...guffaw...cough, cough...deep breath.

This is what went down.

McKinney High School had apparently asked for certain alterations to be made by Retouch Lifetouch before the yearbook was printed. They required the student's heads be the same size and eyes at the same level in all student photos. From what I have read, only one Retouch Lifetouch employee had "an unfortunate lapse in judgment".

Only ONE employee worked on making the heads and eyes the same for ALL of the Stepford Children students? No wonder he/she cracked!

You see the culprit switched bodies and heads and heads and bodies of about 600 students in this year's publication. There was no sense of gender, as body parts were mixed and matched. The possibly disgruntled sociopath worker also stretched the necks of some students. Was this the effect that he/she was trying to achieve?

They should have hired me. I could have done SUCH a better job, I mean c'mon, look at MY new image on the side bar. Now that's realism at it's best!

As I was saying....

Things became more gruesome when some discovered a dismembered girl within the pages. Her arm had mysteriously been erased from her photo! OH.THE.HORROR!

Thankfully the employee knew to keep things rated PG-13 and blurred the chest of the girl whose clothes seem to have disappeared. Those involved are under age, after all. Except for that one kid, you know, who's like 23. The one who sits in the back of the room and either sleeps or blows spitballs at the chalkboard. At least he's got all of those previous senior year pictures to look at.

But I digress.

So, this weekend is seriously going to suck for that yearbook staff. They have to figure out which noggin goes with which torso. They have only 48 hours to sort it all out so Retouch Lifetouch can reprint their memories for a whopping $75,000.

That employee has got to be SO fired!

(P.S. I really do feel for the students of McKinney High School. However, after reading about violence, earthquakes, and famine this just seemed, well, slightly humorous. I'm just saying.)


Anonymous said...

Okay, the way YOU tell it, it made me giggle a little, too. Want to share a handbasket?

meleah rebeccah said...

GET OUT! They did NOT spend that kind of $$$ to make everyones head the same size?

Thats CRAZY.

(and yes....funny!!)

Justice Jones said...

That's funny and nuts. The employee must be clinically insane because no one in his right mind would do that. I would love to see the pictures, I'm going to Google it now.

The Fritz Facts said...

I have a bunch of Friends that work at Lifetouch (here in MN), and they are all shocked by this. And the employee did get fired, without sevrence.

I don't get why a school would pay that much to change the size of heads...that cracks me up more than anything else.

Jennifer H said...

First, why would the school ask for something so stupid as evenly-sized heads?

But this was seriously twisted! That must have taken a very long time to accomplish.

One of my best friends is a yearbook advisor, and I sent her the article. I would imagine her head is exploding right this minute. :-)

kristi said...

Yes, I read about this. I live near Dallas. Somebody cracked under the pressure!

Momo Fali said...

They should've hired you! You could've drawn their heads and they all would've been happy!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Liz: Glad to oblige! P.S. I'm lovin' your new do!

Meleah: So nuts, isn't it?

Justice Jones: I couldn't find too many pictures...would have loved to have seen the one without an arm!

The Fritz Facts: So there was a firing? I would think so!

Jennifer H: I hope your friend's head didn't explode...although that unemployed Lifetouch guy/girl could photoshop her another one!

Kristi: I'll say!

Momo Fali: I'd do it and I certainly wouldn't charge them $75 grand! Maybe $50 grand...but definitnely not $75 grand!

3XMom said...

lol, that is pretty funny. School was crazy for asking for such changes!

Jenn loves Derek said...

Okay, that is hillarious. (Ofcourse if they want to put my face on a young 20 year olds body with no stretch marks, I am totally OK with that kind of mis representation;)

I saw your comment on Dawn's Blog & thought I would stop by.

Sending smiles your way,

Just telling it like it is said...

I like the re-touch really..that is your re-touch!! just stopin by to say hi!!

Kelley said...

*snort* I would have done the same thing. But changed all their last names to Duggart.

EE said...

I am so going to have to check this one out...too funny!!