Saturday, December 29, 2007

That's Not Toilet Paper On My Shoe

Well, I finally dug myself out of the rubble. The Christmas gift rubble. I feel like I've been clawing my way out for weeks. Just when light would begin to stream in....BAM! An uncle, aunt, or grandmother would hand over another present to my spoiled brats beautiful children.

The green and red gift wrap, the curly ribbon, the bows, wads and wads of tissue paper - I couldn't escape it all. It just kept appearing and I was tangled up like a mummy in the stuff.

I grabbed the big leaf garbage bags, the kitchen ones just wouldn't do, to help dispose of the mess. As I was cleaning up I had to fight off the pup who was shredding, the already torn to bits wrapping paper, into minute, teeny tiny pieces. I then started shoving the heap, deep down into the bags, all the while trying to free my finger of the same piece of static-clinging plastic wrap from one of the boy's games. It wouldn't come off. The freakin thing would move from one hand to the other, then to my arm, then back to my finger. It was all I could do not to scream.

But scream I would. Not from the plastic, which I was finally freed from, no, NO, but from disengaging the toys from their packaging.

HOLY.MOTHER.OF.GOD!


R. received the Littlest Pet Shop Round & Round Pet Town from Santa. Curse that jolly old man. It took me twenty minutes to remove the twisted wires and rubber bands from the playset. TWENTY MINUTES! No lie, I timed it.

And you know something? The wires are bad enough. The manufacturers have been using them for a while now. I was just getting used to them and actually found scissors that cut through the wire in one clip. But now they had to steal the rubber bands from local orthodontists to wrap and wrap and wrap around each figurine. The bands are clear too, so when you drop a trillion one, which you will, you can't find it. I'll be coming across them until at least St. Patrick's Day, at which time I will be getting drunk and shooting them at Mr. Schmitty.

This time consuming act continued on and on, as the Schmitty children received quite the bounty this year. I'm still wondering if Mr. Claus is on crack.

Anywho, after everything was finally opened, I realized breaking into a bank or breaking out of a high security prison would probably have been easier than dislodging that Power Rangers Megazord from it's box.

Anyone? Can you tell me, really? What exactly is the point of fastening toys down so tightly? Did somebody really take Toy Story 2 that seriously? Was there a corporate meeting to discuss how to keep those little buggers from running amok? Honestly dudes, I think you are going just a tad overboard.

13 comments:

Annie said...

We were right there with you!! We had to 'unscrew' with a screwdriver one of the fasteners on my son's toys - it's beyond ridiculous!

As for the paper! I have cursed it daily since Christmas Day as I can only presume that one of my most prized gifts - a Starbucks giftcard, got all caught up in it and thrown out :(

The Fritz Facts said...

I absolutely HATE the rubberbands on Littlest Pet Shop. They have them on Barbie's now too. I found one a couple months ago sitting under a couch cusion. I couldn't even remember what it was from.
Glad you and the fam had such a...wonderful holiday!!

Misslionheart said...

Great post!

Chef helps with all the 'dislodging' of Christmas presents while I just sit back and watch the childrens excited, happy faces.....

Leigh said...

I feel your pain!

fold my laundry please said...

My daughter got some My
Little Ponies this year and their hair is SEWN ONTO THE PACKAGING! It too some effort to free their sparkly manes!

Maria said...

God...I DETEST The Littlest Pet Shop packaging so much that I actually wrote a snotty letter to the company asking them if it was their intention to drive parents out of their minds. I received a form letter back, thanking me for my "input."

I'll give them some input, alright...

Liv didn't ask for any Littlest Pet Shop things for Christmas, mainly because I think she was afraid to ask me to help her get them unwired and rubber banded from their packaging....

Life As I Know It said...

Oh, I'm with you too!
Why is every piece wired individually to the box?!? I have no answers...

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you!

meleah rebeccah said...

ha ha ha...I am glad that I dot have to deal with 'packaging' issues anymore!


ps....Happy New Years Eve!! xxoo :)

fold my laundry please said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a truly fantastic 2008!

The Greens said...

Happy New Year!!

*hug*

MamaLee said...

I am SO with ya. I try to check out those things prior to wrapping, but I always miss a few.

Happy 2008!

Justice Jones said...

I hate those wires and the rubberbands. Some toys are even screwed into the carton. GIVE ME A BREAK!! I really wish I knew why they do this.

EE said...

Luckily, my daughter received zero Littlest Pet Shop toys this year.
Those ties and bands are ridiculous!