Thursday, June 14, 2007

Did I Just Talk Completely In A Circle?

Last week I was at my friend and neighbor, J.'s, house. It was her daughter's birthday so T. and R. were invited over for some festivities. While the kids were playing she and I sat down for a gossip session.

Our town is pretty large for the area we live in. Most of the larger towns are usually split up, as our is, into sections. Ours has three; the rich, the well-off, and the we're doing okay 'cause there's food on the table. We fall into the latter of the categories. We are referred to as Mayberry. I type this as I am rolling my eyes. It's more like Peyton Place.

But the gossip J. and I share is usually fun and we both know that it goes no further than between us. Okay and between you all and me.

I digress.

J. asks me if I know a girl in the third grade named A. "No, why?" I reply.

"Remember the girl who kept calling B. (her son) at 6:30 in the morning and 11:00 at night a while back?"

"Yes! Okay, what now?"

"Oh my God! Make sure W. hasn't spoken to her recently." She proceeds to tell me that this A. was telling children in her son's class about a website that had "Naked people bumping together." This apparently unsupervised at home child was then writing down the URL for the now curious classroom full of 8 year olds. And from what J. heard it's not the first time.

"Oh nice."

Now, I feel for this girl. It seems to me that she isn't getting the proper attention she should be. I'm not trying to judge her situation because honestly I don't know what it is. But I also don't need my child learning about the horizontal mambo from a porn site.

I told J. that I didn't think W. had contact with A. He's never mentioned her name before.

Tonight I tucked the boys into bed and said goodnight. I walked toward the bedroom door. As usually W., who has ignored me all afternoon because he has important things to do like play Dragonball Z on Playstation and stuff, decides he wants to engage me in conversation. You know, that last stall tactic to stay up past bedtime.

"Mom, guess what? A. had to have detention 3 days in a row!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. *Sigh* I turned around.

"You know A.?"

"Yea, she's my friend."

Why, why, WHY do they always find my sweet boy? It's like vultures on a dead carcass.

"When did she become your friend? I've never heard you mention her before."

"I don't know, but she likes me."

My phone BEST not be ringing at the butt crack of dawn if she knows what's good for her!

"She likes you, huh? Well, you can be nice to her, but I'd rather you play with the friends you already have."


"Well, let's just say she doesn't always make the right choices."

"But how do I break up with her?"

Break up with her?! Oh crap she's going to wake me up in the morning, isn't she? No, no, NO!! Think, think.

Nothing is going to come out right. What do I say? She's trouble? She's only 8, part of me feels for her. Is it her fault or just lack of guidance?

"Well W. first of all you aren't breaking up with her because she is your classmate, not your girlfriend. Second of all you can be nice to her but sometimes the decisions she makes aren't always the right ones. I have to look out for you and I don't want you to maybe get into trouble because you wanted to be her friend. You know what's right and what's wrong, you need to use your own mind and make the right choices."

I'm not sure if he understood, I'm not sure if I did. But he said okay and then goodnight.

I'm going to suck at this when he's a teenager.


reevesfarm said...

Ohhhh! We have all kinds of security on our computers to protect our children from net porn. I know that some of the other parents don't. Some are just clueless and some just don't care.

My 12yo had a substitute teacher for the last half of the year, this lady did not pay attention to what was going on in her classroom. One boy downloaded very graphic pictures of some tribe that cooked and then ATE babies. She also got into a discussion of rape as a weapon of mass distruction (AIDS) in Africa, this was during English class.

So I am trying to watch out for kids that know too much and teachers who are just stupid....

Good Luck!

DraMa said...

I dread these days ahead... kids, school, other bad kids corrupting my sweet angels (LOL!). I dread it.

Janis said...

I think you handled it perfectly!! I wouldn't have worded it any different and I would be going back and forth on my feelings for the girl as well. ONe the one hand..where are her parents? and on the other...don't be dragging MY son into your sex palace of porn!! eek....I dread the teen years as well.

I think we will all be JUST fine if we switch our water coolers to wine coolers. Just to take the edge off ;)

Paulette Foley said...

Good luck and God bless. I have a 13 year old son, since first grade the girls who were already drawing tatoos onto their bodies, wearing MIDRIFF shirts and looked like "mini-Brittany Spears" were making the moves on my son...and he seemed to enjoy it...still does! Best advice...keep the communication open and tylenol handy. :)

Maria said...

God. Liv is seven. But there is a girl in her class who sounds exactly like A. I hate running interference with Liv's friends, like to believe that she will only pick the good apples...but I can't live in denial forever.

Liv is fascinated by children who misbehave. It is only a matter of time before I am going to be in your shoes. I just hope I handle it as well.

meleah rebeccah said...

you did a great job handling your son, as I have been in that very same position with my own child....

I do wonder who is supervising the 8 year old girl, and how or why she ever had access to the internet / that site. (that bothers me. alot.)

Shauna said...

Good luck. I think you handled it well.

Misslionheart said...

Frightening stuff.

Misslionheart said...

Oops! Here's my link.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Ugh. That's a sticky situation. As terrible as two can be I think I prefer it to elementary school drama.

Rootietoot said...

IT sounds to me like you're doing fine. My only advice about teen is this: Be strict now. We were soft on our first one (because he was so charming and well behaved)and now at 19 he's having all sorts of issues. The next 2 we were tougher on, because they weren't so well behaved as youngsters, and now (they're 17 and 16) you couldn't ask for better kids.

Rootietoot said...

and another thing- don't be your kid's friend. He has friends. Be the parent. But I think you already know this.

EE said...

Great explanation!!!