9 Years Ago Today....

.....I was lying in a hospital bed, truly exhausted from the day's event. I had waited so long for this day. Five years of tests, poking and prodding, hormones, the works. The greatest day of my life had finally come. It was immediately followed by the worst day of my life.

9 years ago today W. was born. My little boy that I had so desperately wanted for so long. I had been through the wringer. Infertility was a cross I had to bear. I don't think anyone who hasn't been through it can imagine the roller coaster ride. I lost many friends because of it, ones who couldn't quite understand why it was so hard to be around the babies they were all having. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mope. I tried to keep a smile and a happy demeanor in public, but it was hell.

But the torture was well worth it. I had just delivered my miracle baby. I had gotten gestational diabetes during the pregnancy, I know, why should the pregnancy be any easier than the conception? Anyway, I had delivered rather quickly and W.'s oxygen saturation levels were off. They believed it was due to inhaling too much amniotic fluid. They placed him under an oxygen hood and assured me that he would be fine once his lungs dried up some.

The next day Mr. Schmitty and I went to visit him in the NICU and I could tell from the nurse's expressions that something wasn't quite right. And it wasn't. W. was born with a congenital heart defect. It is called a Transposition Of The Great Arteries, or TGA. His main arteries and capillaries to his heart were switched. He also had a pretty large hole in his heart. Normally babies like this are born with bluish skin, but because of the hole, his coloring was normal. The hole helped his body get enough oxygen. We were told that we should call our priest and have W. baptized. The baby and I would be driven by ambulance to the Children's Hospital in Philadelphia (CHOP) as soon as that was done.

My head was spinning, I went into automatic pilot. Mr. Schmitty and my mom drove to CHOP in our car after collecting clothes and incidentals. Baby W. had open heart surgery 3 days later and we spent the next two weeks by his side. I was terrified to touch him at first. The monitors, the beeping, the wires, the bandages, it was so much. But my courageous son fought and now he's healthy and strong. It was amazing what that 7 lb. 4 oz. baby endured.

I can't believe 9 years have passed. It's gone by so quickly. I am so proud of the young man you are turning into. You and I have a special bond that will never be broken. Yes we fight, yes we get on each other's nerves, but we have a deep connection that makes those things seem completely trivial.

I love you with all of my self. I love that you still wrap your baby blanket around your head to sleep. You look like a little old woman in her kerchief. I love how your younger siblings adore you. I love how you are the first to respond to a friend who is sad or hurt and ask what is wrong. I love how you give those friends hugs to ease their pain. I love how you march to the beat of your own drum. I love how you have more energy in your little finger than I do in my entire body, especially because of all you've been through. I love that I can make you laugh just by looking at you a certain way. I love how you bond with your dad over baseball. I love that you still like to hold my hand while walking down the street. I love that you will kiss me hello or goodbye, even in front of your friends. I love everything about you my sweet boy, I love that I have been blessed to have you in my life.

Happy Birthday!