Friday, April 27, 2007

The Sneak, The Cheat, And Nurse Ratched

Mr. Schmitty and I gave W. his birthday gift early this year. His birthday is in June, however, I found the Nintendo DS Lite he wanted on sale. So, why make him wait? He did really well on his report card so we decided to let him have it early with the new Pokemon Diamond game as well. He was SO excited.

The next morning he, of course, was up at the crack of dawn to play it. Normally no video games are allowed before school, but I decided to bend the rules, just this once. It was time for school and I told him to get his backpack and put the game away. Now, for W. "putting the game away" usually consists of him placing it on top of the entertainment center in the living room. He piles so much crap on there sometimes it looks like a shrine. Today, he goes upstairs towards his room and says, "I'm going to go put this away where it belongs."

"Hmmmm," I think to myself. You know those fleeting thoughts you get that says, "I know he's up to something?" But then I think, "Wow, he's going to really take care of this!" because the Hopeful Mom in me took over for Smart Mom who actually knows her kids.

W. comes out of his room and runs into the bathroom and closes the door. Mr. Schmitty was in the hallway and hears a zipping sound. He tries the door, it's locked. He relays this info to me.

"Hmmmm," I think again. Hopeful Mom clouded my better judgement again.

W. comes back down, all ready to run out the door to school.

"Hold it, what's in the backpack?" I ask.

A guilty look washes over his face, it changes to that face he makes when he can't quite figure out how I always know everything.

He pulls the Nintendo DS out of his backpack and hands it over. He knows he's busted, not a word is spoken.

"You know you can't bring this to school, you couldn't even make 24 hours without me confiscating this, could you?"

After W. left T. asked me to play Nickelodeon's DVD Bingo game. It's a lot of fun by the way, you should get it. Anyway during play, Mr. Smartypants that he is, keeps trying to flick my markers off my Bingo board.

"That's cheating, little man," I say.

"I'm allowed to cheat," he laughingly replies.

"Oh yea, says who?"

"I read it in the indrections."

"The directions said so? You read it, huh? You can't read."

"I looked at the pictures!"

Almost on cue, in walks R. She is playing nurse to her stuffed kitty.

"Kitty has a fever."

"Oh, just like you did the other night."

"I have to check her." She pulls a digital thermometor from her pocket, holds the kitty by it's tail, and stabs the thermometor where the cat should have a butt hole. Well, actually, it may have one now.

"3-0-4!" she exclaims as she reads the results and walks away.

Poor, poor kitty, who knows it's fate!


Justice Fergie said...

hilarious. i feel for the poor cat. at least you can't say your kids aren't creative!

Maria said...

You can never hide from the Mother. You can run, you can hide, you can lie, you can cheat, you can ram a thermometer up a cat's rear end, but Mama knows all, sees all and can never, never be fooled....

Great post...sounds like you may be feeling better. I'm still dragging my big ass around. How long does this shit last?

Babybull40 said...

I hope Kitty is the forgiving type.. Our real cats had that done last year and the male.. he wasn't too impressed.. I hope the Kitty she has won't hold that against her..

Pendullum said...

That pooooooor cat...

Zephra said...

love it when mu kids can't figure out how I know what they are up to.!
Great post.

Janis said...

HAHA! I love the violating of the poor kitty!! Kids aren't the most gentle of practitioners!!

lol on the nintendo ds! Mine is addicted to Super Mario and thank god doesn't even know you can get it in a hand held form. I will be dealing with the EXACT same problems soon.

Internet Safety Advisor said...

Poor kitty....

Hi...Check my website---another surprise for you, Mrs. S!!!

(it's a little complicated tho--if you want me to send u an email, let me know).

EE said...

How did she know it was supposed to go there?????
Funny stuff!!!!

Samantha said...

Interesting to know.