Friday, February 23, 2007

Going To The Doctors

I have a doctor's appointment this morning. Mr. Schmitty is home from work and after we drop off W. at school we will drop T. and R. at my mother-in-laws. Mr. Schmitty is coming with me. I've been having a real problem since mid-December. Well, some of this has last longer, it has just gotten worse since then. I haven't slept a full nights sleep in forever. I just kept chalking it up to having young kids and just getting into that pattern. Now everyone sleeps through the night, everyone but me. I toss and turn all night long. Most days, with the help of my good friend caffeine, I can function okay. Some days are bad, really bad. It's difficult to have patience with two preschoolers during the day. I try really hard, but I shouldn't have to try this hard. Back in December I began experiencing these little "attacks" a few days in a row. I barely slept. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. One of those nights Mr. Schmitty even brought me to the emergency room. I was examined and tests were run. Nothing. I was okay again for a while, still not sleeping great but getting by. Then this week came. I have had the worse week of my life. Hardly sleeping, horrible stomache, and this overwhelming feeling of dread. I keep obsessing that something is seriously wrong with me, which in turn just makes me feel worse. But I can't get the thoughts out of my head. My heart was checked over in December but I keep thinking my heart is going to give out and I'm not going to be alive the next day. Crazy, you are saying, right? I KNOW! I began searching the internet last night. And found these symptoms: Excessive, ongoing worry and tension, inability to shut off constant anxious thoughts, feelings of dread, an unrealistic view of problems, restlessness or a feeling of being "edgy", irritability, muscle tension, headaches, difficulty concentrating, nausea, the need to go to the bathroom frequently, tiredness, trouble falling or staying asleep, trembling, stomach problems, chest pains, grinding of teeth, hot flashes, being easily startled. BINGO. These are the symptoms for GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). It can be hereditary. Of course, another crappy thing to get from my dear old dad (please note sarcasm on the dear part). He had a lot of issues in his 30's and I remember him being on valium. So, why shouldn't he pass along something else to me? Jerk. Sorry, had to get that out. I can not have another day like I've experienced all week. Last night I felt like I might just lose my mind. I need sleep. I even took an over the counter sleep aid last night, guess what? I slept WORSE! So I am hoping the doctor today will help. I want ME back.

9 comments:

Rootietoot said...

I have GAD. Let me know how things go. It took me a little while to find something that worked, but once I did, boy does it work. And, it doesn't make me goofy or drool or anything like that.

Those sleepless night, 2 am with anxiety...what is it about dark nights that make little things seem so outrageously awful?

Deb said...

eeeeek! I am sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine what it must be like. I hope everything goes well at the doctor and you start to get what you need to feel okay!

Valerie said...

Wow I am so sorry to hear that,I hope the doctor can find something quickly to help you.

MamaLee said...

I hope you get some relief soon!

Maria said...

GAD is very treatable. Hang in there until you get the meds just right. It takes a little time, I've heard.

And, I know what you mean about getting the bad traits. I missed out on my Da's light blue sparkly eyes, but got his type 1 diabetes. I didn't get my Mom's auburn hair, I just got her pointed witch chin.

And I got my teeth from both of them. They both had dentures by their 30th birthday. I currently have SEVEN caps on my not so pearly whites.

Hang in there, sweetie...it'll get better. It will.

Zephra said...

I know about the taking of sleeping pills and sleeping worse. When my thyroids are off I sleep only a few hours a night, if that. I used to try different things but nothing worked. First I had to address the thyroid issue and get that in check. I was sick for the longest time because of it and had so much trouble taking care of my little one. I was so tired I left him in the car a few times. I would fall asleep at the drop of a hat during the day but nights were hell. They still are hard.

The best thing for you is to be well informed before you even set foot in the doctors office and and don't let them tell you it is in your head. If you know something is wrong, then there is. But like others have said, sometimes it takes a little while to get the meds in check. I wish you all the best.

Mom on Coffee said...

Add me to the list of those with GAD. It can take a while to get the meds just right, but the relief when you do will feel like heaven. I still have a tough time once a year when my meds need a little tweak, but there are worse things to have. You should be proud of yourself for going to the Doc.

Justice Fergie said...

sorry to hear about your week! i'm sleep deprived too. hang in there and know that it will get better. i'm going to my first appointment with a therapist tomorrow myself - i suspect a touch of depression. hopefully the doctor will help. keep us posted!

jennie said...

Anxiety is such a troubling thing - we struggle with it at our house every day. It is both a physical and mental issue, symptoms from either causing compounding reactions. It may take some time to find the right medication or combination to help you - but just even having something to work toward is an excellent start. Good luck!