The Quail-Lady Almost Ruins Christmas

The woman who delivers our mail makes me giggle every day.

She is a petite woman who wears a floppy hat, much like this one, which I believe is at least a size too large for her.The hat alone is not what makes me chuckle. It's also the way she scurries.

Yes, I said scurries.

Have you ever seen a quail run? That is EXACTLY the way she makes her way across the lawns as she delivers the mail.

Much like this:


I watch her going from house to house and I just can't help thinking she looks like a little quail the way her legs move at such a rapid pace.

It cracks me up.

I've dubbed her the Quail-Lady instead of the Mail-Lady.

I've told you before, I'm twelve.

Now, I love the Quail-Lady because she amuses me and makes me smile. However, I do have a bone to pick with her.

Santa called and said that he needed to send me something to hold on to for Christmas. He informed me that he would be sending the items to a friend who lives close by.

You know, so none of the Schmitty kids could "accidentally" open the package. 'Cause that would just botch the whole surprise aspect of the holiday.

Apparently that idea is lost on some people. Because as luck would have it, the Quail-Lady took it upon herself to deliver Santa's package to the Schmitty residence.

Um-hum, yes, she did.

Knock-Knock.

"Yes?" I asked her.

"This was addressed wrong!" She proudly exclaimed, "I fixed it and here you go!"

She was beaming as though she had just saved the world.

"It was SUPPOSE to go to the other address," I said through clenched teeth and a smile, "That's why it says C/O."

Blink. Blink.

She tried to hand me the package. I looked over my shoulder for any nosy curious children.

I pushed it back at her.

Blank look. Mouth open to speak. Nothing.

"TAKE IT!" I said as I heard footsteps coming closer.

Blink. Blink.

I began to stammer as I heard young voices getting louder and closer, "Christmas....gifts.....TAKE.ACROSS.STREET!!!"

Blink.Blink.

"OH FORGET IT!!" I practically screamed as I grabbed the package and ran to my room.

So, now I am totally convinced she is part quail. Not only does she run like one, she's got a bird-brain to boot!