Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'll Take The Poison Apple

Do you ever feel like Cinderella? You know, before the grand ball, Prince, and glass slipper incident.

"Make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, do the mopping, and the sweeping and the dusting, they always keep her hopping. She goes around in circles, till she's very, very dizzy. Still they holler, keep a-busy."

Being married, having kids, having a pet, and running a household is like living the first thirty minutes of your average fairytale. You wonder sometimes what the hell you did to deserve it all.

And you know something? I'm not believing all the hype of those Happily-Ever-After stories. Nope, not one bit, because once the ring goes on the finger, it's.all.over.honey!

Those poor naive girls. Most of them only had animals, fairies, or short, dirty, old men to talk to. Who wouldn't fall for one of those good-looking royal fellas?

But I'm betting the grass wasn't always greener. There's a reason all of their tales ended when they did. You never got a follow-up. There was no sequel or mini-series. And you certainly never saw Snow White or Ariel on "Where Are They Now?"

Sure, you can probably assume that each Prince whisked his bride away on a lovely honeymoon. The newlyweds probably went to some remote, exotic island. 'Cause you know Mr. Romantic was thinking, "I'm gonna tap that tonight!" But the second they got back to their castles, I'm thinking it was all downhill for our fair, young maidens.

Without exception, each Prince starting throwing his dirty socks on the floor and leaving the seat up. And forget it when it was time to start pushing out kids. Those ungrateful little boogers not only wrecked those beautiful, Princess bodies forever, they were instrumental in making mama talk to herself and twitch.

Taking that all into account, I'm quite certain this is how they would look today:


Yup, that's them, married with kids, and all about to head off to the funny farm. Excuse me while I lace up this pretty straight jacket and join them.

14 comments:

Queen-Size funny bone said...

that cartoon cracks me up.

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh that's great! So true!!!

Bee and Rose said...

I love that picture! Hilarious post!

Random Magus said...

That was just so funny and true and I loved it!!!!

Jill said...

You crack me up! I swept the floor twice this morning and there's still crap all over it from Spike throwing his food, so yeah, I can totally relate to Cinderella these days!

Chris said...

That was hilarious!! And the picture...OMG!

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Thanks - this made me laugh!

Scary Mommy said...

That is hilarious!! That cartoon is priceless.

Bonnie the Boss said...

Oh, you know it honey!!! You did a great job on the description.

Baloney said...

I love this post. So true!

The Fritz Facts said...

That cartoon is hialrious! I love it, and it is very true.

Justice Fergie said...

tooo funny. and sooo true!!

Patois said...

There's just not enough baby spit up on their clothes.

Super B's Mom said...

HAHAHAHA!

I love the fact that Alice in Wonderland is getting a noogie.