Do you ever feel like Cinderella? You know, before the grand ball, Prince, and glass slipper incident.
"Make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, do the mopping, and the sweeping and the dusting, they always keep her hopping. She goes around in circles, till she's very, very dizzy. Still they holler, keep a-busy."
Being married, having kids, having a pet, and running a household is like living the first thirty minutes of your average fairytale. You wonder sometimes what the hell you did to deserve it all.
And you know something? I'm not believing all the hype of those Happily-Ever-After stories. Nope, not one bit, because once the ring goes on the finger, it's.all.over.honey!
Those poor naive girls. Most of them only had animals, fairies, or short, dirty, old men to talk to. Who wouldn't fall for one of those good-looking royal fellas?
But I'm betting the grass wasn't always greener. There's a reason all of their tales ended when they did. You never got a follow-up. There was no sequel or mini-series. And you certainly never saw Snow White or Ariel on "Where Are They Now?"
Sure, you can probably assume that each Prince whisked his bride away on a lovely honeymoon. The newlyweds probably went to some remote, exotic island. 'Cause you know Mr. Romantic was thinking, "I'm gonna tap that tonight!" But the second they got back to their castles, I'm thinking it was all downhill for our fair, young maidens.
Without exception, each Prince starting throwing his dirty socks on the floor and leaving the seat up. And forget it when it was time to start pushing out kids. Those ungrateful little boogers not only wrecked those beautiful, Princess bodies forever, they were instrumental in making mama talk to herself and twitch.
Taking that all into account, I'm quite certain this is how they would look today:
Yup, that's them, married with kids, and all about to head off to the funny farm. Excuse me while I lace up this pretty straight jacket and join them.