Well, it is done. W. was FINALLY enlightened about the birds and the bees.
I wasn't ready way back then. Mr. Schmitty wussed out here. And though this got the ball rolling, W. seemed to lose interest before the actual sit down took place.
Then yesterday came. Mr. Schmitty and I were talking and for some reason R. walked up to me and lifted up my shirt. On my stomach is a small scar from having my gallbladder removed.
W. asked, "Is that your scar from having us?"
"No, I didn't have an operation to have you," I replied.
Puzzled, he then asked, "Well, how were we born then?"
I looked at Mr. Schmitty. "Dude, you SO should have had this conversation already!"
He looked panicked.
"W. do you really want to know about babies? Are you REALLY ready for the answers?" I asked.
"Let's go in the other room then and sit down, " I told him as I escorted him through the doorway and flipped Mr. Schmitty the bird before I followed.
I proceeded to give W. the basic information on how a baby is made. His eyes got big and, of course, he started to giggle. So did I. It helped relieve some of the tension. I couldn't believe how innocent and clueless my son was. I know, from other moms, that a lot of kids his age are in the know.
The conversation went well. He asked a few questions and I kept it as simple as possible.
He then asked, "So, if you didn't have an operation, how was I born?"
"Well, I pushed you out."
He brought both of his hands around to his butt and said, "From here?"
I shook my head, "No, not there."
He grabbed at his chest like he had breasts, "Here?"
I laughed, "Honey, how do you think a baby would come out of there?"
"Did I come out of your belly button?"
Again, I shook my head.
"Well, where then?"
"What's left?" I asked.
His eyes got as big as saucers. His face broke out in a grin. "From your Bergina?"
"First of all, it's vagina and yes."
His mouth dropped open. He laughed out loud. "Did it hurt?"
"Yes, some. Especially you because you were first. I actually had to have a few stitches." [nervous banter]
He thought for a moment.
"Can I see your stitches?"
"Grrrreaaaat, no more questions? Good, good, talk over. Thanks for coming, dad can take it from here."