Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Like Nails On A Chalkboard

W. is permitted to take up playing an instrument this year in school. Yea For Me! Yea For Him!

He decided on the clarinet. Okay, I can deal with that. I really thought he'd go for the drums. Had he, I would probably be living elsewhere.

Yesterday he came home from school and said that his teacher wants him to practice at least fifteen minutes everyday.

I said, "Well, get too it. Let me hear!"

He assembled his instrument and started licking the reed.

"W., are you suppose to do that?"

"Yup!" He answered enthusiastically.

He was taking this very seriously. I had to stifle my laugh because he looked like an overly thirsty lizard with the way his tongue was darting in and out of his mouth.

"This is a G note."

Blow....OH HOLY HELL! My body tightened up like I had just gotten an electric shock treatment.

"Wait, let me try again."

I braced myself this time.

Blow....Okay not as bad, but he definitely needs work because his playing reminds me a little of Squidward Tentacles. Only it was worse because he is practically screeching those sounds into my FRACKING EARS!!!

He continued to practice for a few minutes while the dog hid at my feet, R. buried her head in my lap, and T. announced, "THAT'S HORRIBLE!!"

I think I may have to set up a special place for him to practice. Like the shed. You know, so he'll be able to concentrate and not be interrupted. I'm such a great mom that way, always thinking of his best interests.


Zephra said...

I got Kamran a mute (they don't have em for clarinets) and private lessons. Best $15 a week ever!

Sarah said...

I WAS the drummer. Only I didn't have a set so I found a bunch of different sized galss bottles and jars and practiced on them. I dread the day because I'm sure my mom uttered The Curse (Someday you will have a child just like you) more than once.

Laura said...

I am laughing and snorting so hard right now!

In grade 7 I got the clarinette too...on our big preformance - after weeks of practicing, my teacher quietly took me aside and told me it would be best for everyone if I played without a reed...ummmm...yep, I was that good!

May you have a child who eventually plays better than I did...

The Fritz Facts said...

I played the clarinette too!! It was awful in the beginning, but it got better. Sucking the was great fun.

EE said...

LOL! Do you really think that drums would be any better??:)
My mom made me play the French Horn... everyone called me "Frenchy" for years.
OK, maybe it wasn't exactly because of the instrument... I'm just sayin' ;)

beth said...

My sister played the clarinet and it was awful to listen to her blow and spit out those unrecognizable sounds for hours at a time. One day without warning, the sounds coming from the clarinet were lovely and it was wonderful music to our ears! Then, she quit.

Bonnie the Boss said...

My oldest is playing the saxaphone this year. The first time I heard him play I asked him to shut the door. My SIL told me I was rude. He has gotten so much better, I actually don't mind now. Maybe a little softer reeds would help his tone quality.