Monday, March 03, 2008

The Week From Hell

It's Monday. The beginning of a new week. I am praying it is easier than last week.

Right now I am emotionally drained. I am confused about what to do. I feel completely beat down.

I mentioned a few days ago that W. has issues with meltdowns and impulsiveness. He can be quite a difficult child to deal with at times. This past week his poor behavior seemed to peak. It was a nightmare. EVER.SINGLE.DAY. He was defiant, nasty, and basically disrupted the entire family.

He has been struggling with Math lately. The program at my son's school is absolutely horrible. You really don't want to get me started on the subject as I have quite the opinion. Anyway, he's been stressing about it but because of the type of kid he is, well, let's just say he doesn't like to work through things. He'd rather just not do it and cause a commotion. Homework has become a daily battle. He'll be in the best of moods but the mere mention of doing work will send him into a tizzy.

You must understand that unless it's fun, W. doesn't want to do it. I'm sure this is the case with a lot of kids, but it's really, REALLY hard to get him to do anything that requires even the slightest effort. It's frustrating to Mr. Schmitty and I because we both have a very strong work ethic. But I know everyone is different, and I can live with having to work harder to make him work harder.

What I can't live with is his over the top freak-outs that last 1-2 hours long. Saturday I was pretty much doing the whole damn thing helping W. with his Social Studies project. He had to make a float about Georgia. He had done all of the research a few days before. It was time to make the actual float but instead of putting it together, I found him goofing off while I was gluing my fingers to the shoebox. I told him to focus and start helping. He told me he needed a break.


I told him he could have one after he actually did some work. He proceeded to swat the box across the table and jump up from his chair. He yelled at me that he wasn't doing it anymore. I told him to go to his room and cool off. He then screamed, "NO!" at me. At which point I got up to "help" him to his room. He sat down on the couch and started kicking at me and screaming at the top of his lungs.

I actually looked at the front door because I swore the police were going to be knocking, wanting to come in to arrest me for abuse. He sounded like I was murdering him. He finally, after about 10 minutes of this, went to his room.

The screaming, defiance, hyperventilating, and meltdown continued for another 1 1/2 hours. It was the most exhausting time of my life, both physically and emotionally. I had to sit in his room, in front of his door, to keep him there. He was scaring his younger siblings and I refused to let him upset them like that.

After it was all over, I made two phone calls. One to Sylvan Learning Center and one to a child psychologist that deals with children with ADHD like symptoms.

I then took two Xanax when the kids were all in bed.


Zephra said...

Good lord woman. You did the right thing with the phone calls. Sounds a lot like ADHD symptoms. Sara was not so much of a fit thrower but she would take hours...and I mean hours, to do an assignment that would only take 5 minutes. She is still that way. She has to be constantly reminded and pointed back on task.

As for the fit throwing, expect that to get worse before it gets better but you can win in the end.

The Fritz Facts said...

Oh hun, I am sorry it is so hard right now. We never had the fits, but did have the struggles with homework (three hours for a math page). You did the right thing by making those calls, and making the effort to keep it away from your other kids. It is hard when one childs issues take you away from the kids that don't have them.
Keep strong and it will get better. Just remember it it takes times.

EE said...

I'm so sorry. I was exactly like that when doing homework as a child. I was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD.

Justice Fergie said...

yikes! poor you. and poor W for that matter. it seems like it's something that he just doesn't know how to handle or control. i think you made the right calls. good luck and keep us posted.

hang in there mom!

Valerie said...

I am sorry you are having a tough time with W. Hang in there momma!

Day Dreamer said...

My oldest son (9) sometimes throws fits over seemingly nothing. It's hard to deal with. When they last for more than 30 minutes I can hardly take it. Reading this, my heart goes out to both of you.

For me, admitting that there may be an ADHD issue sounds difficult alone.

Hope you get a little relief soon along with some serious answers.

Jessica said...

Sweety you did the two things I was going to suggest. Sylvan and having him evaulated for ADHD. What you described was my son 3 yrs ago. Right down the the meltdowns. It was a hard fought road but he is doing wonderful at the age of 12. Sylvan worked wonders for him with his math and reading skills. He has been taking Straterra for almost 3 yrs and it has helped 10 fold. Good luck!!

Laura said...

So sorry you are dealing with this behaviour.

Sending you lots of vibes and support.

Janis said...

Aww Mrs. Schmitty..I FEEL your pain. Believe me I do. If you have read my blog (which is published every other year)my dd just was diagnosed with ADHD a few weeks ago. Has he always had these kind of issues or is this something that has just started? We had to go through 2 weeks of testing to find out she had it but I already knew after doing some research on the internet. The meltdowns, inattention, impulsivity...they all pointed at ADHD in neon.

There is power in knowledge so I hope you find what is going on with your son soon so you and your husband can find the best way to help him deal with his struggles.

When you described the blow up after you got upset with him it reminded me soo much of my daughter. If I get mad she gets irrate right back at me..very uncharacteristic of a kid IMO...usually they know you are angry and back down. She goes the opposite and starts yelling at me which I found is quite common in kids with ADHD. Their emotions are all over the place and quite frequently the wrong one will surface and make things much worse.

BIG hugs is not easy and I hope the xanax helped!! Lord knows I could use some!!

Jen said...

Oh my goodness, I just want to reach through this screen and give you a hug. I have been there my friend and I know exactly how it feels. I too have been in the middle of dealing with a meltdown and thinking "Oh my god, the neighbors have got to think I'm beating this kid to death with how loud he's screaming"

It's so hard to do in these situations but it sounds like you handled it the right way. I hope the phone calls you made help and I hope it gets easier for you all very soon.

Leigh said...

You are in my prayers. I think we all have that one difficult child who pushes us to the max sometimes. Mine is namedd "Sledge". I completely understand. Sometimes the thought of a well padded room (to put ME in) sounds so nice.
You and son are both in my prayers.