Seeking Absolution

I have no excuse. None whatsoever. I was all my fault. I completely and utterly forgot. It is unjustifiable and reprehensible. It was just plain WRONG.

I was out Friday evening, gallivanting with a girl friend. I joined her for a movie. We gorged on popcorn and diet sodas. We had the audacity to laugh and enjoy ourselves. And our fun didn't end at the closing credits. Oh No! We continued on our merry way, I, not once remembering the day and what it meant. The degradation and humiliation I would feel upon realizing my err. Oh the shame of it all!

We shopped at a local bookstore. I searched for books and magazines that I would take pleasure in reading, all the while selfishly thinking of only myself. How dare I? As life only revolved around my happiness. There I stood, leisurely browsing the racks, all the while sipping on a hot chocolate. And it was topped with whipped cream. WHIPPED.CREAM! Satan's drink, I tell you. The sheer gluttony of it all makes me bow my head in self-reproach.

I returned home. A smile was plastered on my face, I'm sure, as I basked in my own self-indulgent euphoria. I prepared for bed and slipped beneath the sheets a few minutes after midnight. The day had ended, the time had passed. The moment was gone, forever. It was a point of no return. Eternally lost.

Another day was cast aside, still I had no idea of what I had done. No recollection of what had come and gone. And then today, in an instant, I felt my lungs deflate. It was as though I had taken a blow to my stomach. How could this be? How could I be so self-absorbed?

Can I be forgiven? Is it possible? I am so truly sorry and understand if I am not given mercy. I do not deserve any.

I extend this rose as an atonement for my thoughtlessness. I know it can not completely vindicate my actions, but I hope someday I can make amends. Only time will tell.

Happy 1 Year Blogiversary My Dear Blog!
It's A Schmitty Life
Est. January 4, 2007