Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Dirty Fighting

This was to be the rubber match, the third and final bout between the Palooka and the Southpaw. Southpaw was young, but had more experience in the ring. He was pound for pound the best fighter in his weight class. Palooka on the other hand was old, out of shape, and inexperienced. A brawler, Palooka was determined to lose the stigma of having a glass chin.

All ready to throw in the towel, Palooka got lucky in the first fight with Southpaw. Prone to Pitty-Pat Punches, Palooka was no match for Southpaw. On the ropes, looking as though the fight would be over in minutes, Palooka got a sudden opening. An uppercut was thrown and a connection was made. Southpaw was thrown back, it was a knockout! The crowd went wild and many believed that Southpaw took a dive.

Set on proving the public wrong, Southpaw scheduled a rematch. The bell rang and Palooka came out swinging. A jab was thrown, Southpaw feinted to the right and threw a counterpunch. Palooka was down for the count!

The score was now one to one. Palooka refused to back down to the obviously better fighter. A final match needed to be fought.

Both fighters were going for the win. Both were bound and determined to be victorious. Neither boxer would allow the winner to be determined, the opponent would have to be KO'd. They knew that meant they might have to go the distance. It was sure to be a Barnburner fight.

Southpaw and Palooka met in the middle of the ring. Dodging and weaving, throwing jab after jab, uppercut after uppercut. Palooka threw a Haymaker. There was a loud SNAP! A thunderous roar of pain was heard. The boxer fell and was now kissing the canvas.

But it wasn't Southpaw, it was Palooka! A victim of a sucker punch? Palooka was now laughing hysterically. The force of the punch thrown had snapped her Victoria Secret's Underwire Bra in half. She was KTFO'D by the impact of the break.

But wait, Southpaw was down too! The hilarity of the situation rendered him punch-drunk.

"Mom.are.you.okay?" He managed to say in between each chuckle, howl, and snort.

"Yes, W. I think I'll live," I replied while wiping tears from my eyes. "Please turn off the Wii while mama gets an ice pack and changes her bra!"

*In case you need some help on the terminology.

5 comments:

kendalswife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kendalswife said...

Gah...I deleted my own comment.

I think it said something like:

That was hilarious! There was no way I could have predicted that outcome. And bummer about the bra. I know those things aren't cheap.

kendalswife said...

Hey, me again. (Totally spamming this post, huh?)
I saw this today http://www.marketreaderpro.com/Market_Research_Bra_study.asp and thought of you. Here's your chance to design a Wii-proof bra!

Maria said...

Bing has a wii and is almost a fanatic with it. Sort of like me and blogging.....

Jen said...

Heh heh heh.

No! I'm totally not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you!

Hee.