Wednesday, August 01, 2007

And The Parents Of The Year Award Goes To....

I guess the Schmitty kids are getting bored with summer vacation already. It's been extremely humid and they don't want to play outside. They do, however, want to run through the rooms screaming like banshees, play WWF as they use my furniture to jump off of and dive onto each other, and they especially want to fight like cats and dogs!

We had one such a day like that last week. I tried, I really TRIED, to keep them occupied. Everything turned into a fiasco. Let's play a game, W. turned into a sore loser. Let's color, T. and R. fought over the same crayon, the green one that we have about ten of. Let's cool off in the kiddie pools, nope it's, "toooo hooooot" (notice the whine). Go read a book, "I donnnnn't waaaaaant toooooo", you see the pattern.

At this point, I am thinking to myself, "You idiot, you just HAD to use the video games as punishment yesterday, didn't you?"

By the time Mr. Schmitty came home from work I wanted to run, screaming from the house, never to return.

He sat the three of them down in the living room for a "family meeting". Picture me making those quotes with my fingers as this really wasn't a meeting, per say, but more of a shut up and listen or I'm gonna beat yer butt type of gathering. I didn't say a word, I'm usually the disciplinarian, so this was a nice change.

After he lectured them into a sleepy state, he told them to go in the playroom and actually use it to play. We stayed upstairs and talked for a few minutes. Then we heard them calling us.

"Mommy, daddy, come here! We are puppies. BUY US!"

I looked at Mr. Schmitty and saw the devilish grin that was spreading across his face. The same one I knew he was seeing on mine. Then I said to him, "They are in Ruby's crate, you know that don't you?"

"Ummm hmmmm...." he says and I know he's thinking what I'm thinking.

We jump up and race to the junk drawer. It's there, oh this is gonna be good!

We walk down the stairs and there they are, all three of them in the dog's crate, barking away.

I'm twirling the padlock on my pointer finger and begin telling the cute little puppies good night. I hand the lock to Mr. Schmitty and he puts in the combination.

Now, my children all have a great sense of humor. They know their father and I like to tease them. They love to tease us back. Mr. Schmitty and I are laughing as this is going on. All evidence is pointing to the reality that this is a JOKE!

I guess I misjudged just how tired my boys were because before we could even get half way across the room, W. and T. burst into tears! R. tough as nails, of course, is laughing hysterically.

OMG! I am the worst mother in the land! I quickly ran over and opened the door. I grabbed up the boys in my arms. I hugged them and started wildly planting kisses all over their heads and faces.

"I'm SO SORRY!! We were only kidding! Do you seriously believe we would lock you up in a cage? You guys know us, we would never do that! We were laughing, you have to know we were teasing!"

I looked at Mr. Schmitty, "I'm going to hell!"

"Or jail!" he replies.

"Yea, maybe for murder!" I say under my breath as I glare at him.

When they were all better and were finally sleeping peacefully in bed, Mr. Schmitty and I went to the other side of the house and laughed until we cried.


Lainey-Paney said...


We call our son's crib "The Gage Cage". (his name is Gage...)

Day Dreamer said...

Oh, I love this!

Funny, they know you're kidding and still...

My eight year old had a dream that I was a REAL vampire mom. I played with him on that for MONTHS..until I realized that the playing like that (usually before bed...) scared him even at the ripe old age of eight. OOPS. Guess I get that award too!

Love that you and your husband can look at each other and just know the evil in each other at the same moment! Marriage made in heaven!!

The Fritz Facts said...

The is the funniest thing ever! I can't pull stuff like that off, so it is nice when people can mess with thier kids a little. They mess with us enough!


Zephra said...

I guess that will be one story they could use to say everything is all your fault. Don't men always blame their mothers?

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

Awwww. There's a fine line between deliriously happy tired and freak out tired! ;)

And I've had Miss C out of daycare for two weeks and I swear she's already getting bored! Yikes! What am I gonna do next summer for three MONTHS!

One Tough Momma said...

You let them out?!?!?!?!?!